How Can We Find the Upside to Disruption?

Once upon a time, disruption became synonymous with radical change. Corporations struggling to cope with Asian competition rushed to reinvent how they thought, planned and operated. Disruption was king.

Until it wasn’t.

Companies that embraced it realized that disruption was not something to be cherished with the new and out with the old sent shudders throughout the organization. 

Terence Mauri understands that mantra, and in his new book, The Upside of Disruption: The Path to Leading in the Unknown, he recasts what must change and what must remain the same.

Explore the future.

As a futurist and relentless experimenter with AI, Mauri knows what organizations must do to make the future work for them, not against them. As he discussed in a recent interview, “Will AI be a disruptor or a democratizer? Will AI be an enabler or some type of dystopian Gollum mining us of our humanity?”

Mauri argues that it is important to use AI to unleash our brainpower. “Using AI intelligently, we create what’s called ROI, which is not just return on investment but a new human metric for a post-AI world return on intelligence.”

What does it mean to unlearn as it relates to disruption? While we all feel overwhelmed and discouraged by the volumes of data, Mauri says, “The upside could be a better way of doing things—a healthier way, a more sustainable way, a chance to reimagine, a chance to rethink.” 

“Imagine that you are in an organization and you’re spending less than 30% of your time on bureaucratic work and 70% of time on intelligent work. Right now, the ratio is the opposite. Research shows that most people are spending 70% of their week on bureaucratic outcomes at the expense of intelligent work, work that actually creates meaning and work that’s creative and innovative.”

When considering which form of technology to pursue, Mauri posits the “billion dollar beliefs.” With such a target, “you can prioritize a strategy, you can prioritize your leadership, your resource allocation around that.”

Find the right course.

“How do we harness AI in an ethical responsible and sustainable way? Asks Mauri. “My research at Hack Future Lab shows that data centers today [globally] consume over 5% of global electricity projections to 2030 could be 25%, and that’s just not tenable. That’s just one example of a potential risk we must mitigate now.”

Mauri says, “The worst thing we can do right now is just become more automated or use AI just to cut costs. I think we need to use it as a torture, be generative, and to achieve return on intelligence and return on imagination.”

Ensuring such an outcome takes work. It will take the collective efforts of individuals and organizations using AI to experiment and establish guidelines that improve productivity without degrading our humanity “to avoid artificial idiocy.” 

Finding possible solutions comes down to being inquisitive. “What questions do we need to be remembered for? What questions are not being asked that should be asked in terms of AI, what’s not being said that should be said?”

Mauri suggests we ask ourselves the following questions. “How do we harness AI in a way that aligns with humanity, aligns with our employees on the inside, our teams, on the inside, and our stakeholders on the outside. How do we align AI to be true to our values?.. We want are three things, truth, transparency, and trust.” 

Note: Readers can view my full LinkedIn Live interview with Terence Mauri here.

First posted on Forbes.com 9.17.2024

Three Ways to Keep Your Team Fresh and Focuses

Cast of Homicide: Life on the Streets

Sometimes, you have to mix it up to keep things fresh. One of the best ways to do that is by bringing in new people.

Tom Fontana, executive producer of Homicide: Life on the Streets, recalled this lesson in an interview on Fresh Air. As much as this police procedural, running from 1993 to 1999, was a different kind of show, the actors found themselves falling into routines.

“You get into a rhythm, and you get comfortable, and you – and the formula kind of settles in, and you know the show too well, and you know the characters too well,” says Fontana. “And what I’ve found over the course of time is that if you bring in somebody who has talent, even though it may not be – you know, an actor who may not have ever directed before, if you bring them in, they’re going to shake things up.”

As Fontana explains, the newcomers “are going to make you, and the other – the actors, the writers, and everybody, the crew – they’re going to make you not let the dust settle on what you’ve been doing for 15 episodes or 20 episodes.”

An example is when Fontana hired actress Katy Bates to direct an episode. She brought in actress Kathy Bates as a director for one of the episodes. “It was great because the actors on the show, all who had kind of, by that point in the year, settled into a kind of a rhythm.” By calling these things out, Bates challenged the actors by asking the actors, “why are you doing that? As a director, Bates the newcomer helped the actors stay energized.

Keeping It Fresh

Keeping things moving with fresh energy is a challenge for anyone in leadership, and so Tom Fontana shows that new people can bring new ideas. As a corollary, sometimes it’s good to take a flyer on talent that may as yet be unproven. Fontana himself is an example: Bruce Paltrow hired him to write for St. Elsewhere. Until then, Fontana had been a New York playwright, not a writer for television.

Here are some suggestions for keeping things fresh

Be open. Ideas abound, and the challenge is to harness them to good use. When a team member makes suggestions for doing things differently, listen. It’s easy to fall into the excuse that we don’t do things like that here. Fight that impulse.

Be willing. As you are open to new ideas, consider adding people different from yourself. Think about how their differences in background and experience can enhance your team. Only some individuals will be precisely the right fit, but every person can teach you something that may benefit you in the long run.

Be forgiving. Openness and willingness only work when people feel they can try new things. Such a feeling complements what it means to be psychologically safe. Creating such an environment falls to leadership. Let people know they belong by showing them so. If they make a mistake, use it as a teachable moment. Challenge them to make corrections and move forward.

Maintaining success

Seth Godin, prolific author, once said, “Leadership is the art of giving people a platform for spreading ideas that work.” A successful organization – whether a television show or a business enterprise – works because it has the right people in the right places. Such an approach does not occur magically. It requires individuals to commit to working together and sometimes integrating new people and new ideas into the mix so that the organization can continue to succeed.

First posted on Forbes.com 00.00.2024

What It Takes to Give a Great Speech

It’s the season of speeches.

Every four years, Americans are treated to oratory by speakers of both parties who address their national party conventions. The purpose of such oratory is less to persuade than to fire up the attendees who will sally forth from their respective conventions determined to mobilize forces for their candidates up and down the ballot.

Some of the speeches are downright scary, while others are joyous and uplifting. Regardless, the focus on so many speeches in such a condensed period of time emphasizes the power of the spoken word.

As a former speechwriter turned executive coach, I have helped many women and men hone their messages. I want to share a few things I have learned, mainly through trial and error.

Know your audience. People want to hear what you say, but you need to do your homework before you can connect. Understand what the audience expects of you and tailor your remarks to resonate with their needs.

Acknowledge your limitations. Many times, what a leader has to say is what they must say. That is, the situation is challenging and presents problems. A leader can only accomplish so much. Failure to acknowledge what you can do and what the organization must do is asking for trouble. People will simply tune out.

Address objections. Everyone wants to give an uplifting speech that resonates with harmony and joy. Unfortunately, life is not like that. Leaders need to paint a realistic picture, citing the pluses and minuses. What the leader must do may conflict with what the organization wants to do. It is the leader’s responsibility to be honest about the decisions and set the course forward.

Tell stories. Reveal yourself through stories. Cite examples of individuals in organizations who are making positive contributions. No leader succeeds alone. Every leader needs the team’s buy-in. So, make that clear.

Issue the call to action. Not every speech may need a formal call to action, but every public utterance needs to be understood as a call for unity, a coming together to achieve the mission. However, if there is a call to action, learn from the politicians—ask for their support. Simultaneously, include your commitment to supporting the individuals and teams that make up the organization.

Uplift your audience

Knowing, acknowledging, addressing and challenging are just the basics of speechmaking. Each speaker must craft a message that reveals who they are and what they want to accomplish. Give people a reason to believe in you because you believe in them.

One thing I have yet to emphasize in this little essay is delivery. So let me quote the legendary film director, John Ford, “You can speak well if your tongue can deliver the message of your heart.” In short, relax. If you have a good message, speak directly. Show people how you feel with the words you deliver. Doing so will encourage listeners to have faith in you and your leadership.

So often, it is said that a leader’s job is to elevate followers and enable them to do their best. If that is the case, a good speech—well-honed or off-the-cuff remarks—is an excellent way to begin the uplifting process.

First posted on Forbes.com 8.22.2024

When Negotiations Stall, Go Big

Think big! Even better, act big!

Richard Haass, president emeritus of the Council on Foreign Relations, expressed that sentiment when commenting on how the deal for the prisoner release was executed. Haass, a former diplomat, said on MSNBC’s Morning Joe that sometimes, when things look deadlocked, as they were during these hostage negotiations, it makes sense to go big. 

In this case, the tri-lateral talks among the U.S., Russia and Germany expanded when Victor Navalnyperished in a Russian gulag in February. Navalny was to be traded as a means of getting Vladimir Putin’s favored prisoner, Vadim Krasikov, an FSB colonel and hitman, released from German custody. 

Rather than give up, negotiators expanded their reach to involve seven countries, including Norway, Poland and Slovenia. The net result was that three U.S. hostages—Paul Whelan, Evan Gershkovich and Alsu Kurmasheva—were released along with other Russian human rights advocates. In return, Russia received Krasikov, along with other Russians, convicted of various crimes and incarcerated outside of Russia. In total, 24 prisoners were exchanged.

Haass’s dictum about going big extends behind diplomacy. Thinking big is a hallmark of many business deals; in fact, that kind of thinking propels the world of mergers and acquisitions. What is different with international prisoner exchanges, however, is that unlike M&A transactions, where sovereignty is subsumed by the stronger partner, in diplomacy, both sides remain whole.

Lessons to be learned.

Best-selling author and negotiator William Ury writes about what the diplomats accomplished in his new book, Possible: How We Survive (and Thrive) in a World of Conflict. “Zoom out and consider that game you are playing… What could you do to change the game from a win-lose battle to a game of constructive conflict and cooperation?”

We can learn from such actions for future negotiations in our own sphere of influence. Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert, says, “Actually, it’s good to think big and small. You’re seeking insights that might get the negotiation back on track. A negotiator may uncover the key that unlocks a deadlock by exploring both perspectives.” 

Take a step back. When things are deadlocked, people tend to give up. Often, it is better to pause, reflect and consider new possibilities. 

Look beyond the immediate issue. Rather than focus on what’s in front of us, think about what’s possible. Diplomatic negotiators did not let Navalny’s death kill negotiations. They expanded their horizons, ultimately involving other nations.

Keep trying. Negotiations can become tiring and even tedious. “Negotiations are tactical and mental,” says Williams. “To that point, when tactics a negotiator has planned to utilize don’t achieve their goal, that negotiator must remain mentally tough and not become frazzled by what may be a momentary setback. If one loses their cool, their mental abilities to keep their head in the negotiation can move from cool to cold. That’s when the negotiation becomes fraught with the potential of disappointment for that individual.”

Transparency and trust

The challenge is to continue dialogue, try new strategies and tactics, and achieve outcomes that benefit both sides.

Two outcomes of such thinking may result in greater transparency and trust. People get to know one another better, and since they cooperate in one effort, it may be possible to continue the relationship. Effective negotiations take time and effort, and as a result, it is easy to become discouraged.

“We can’t end conflict, but we can embrace it and transform it,” writes William Ury. “We choose to handle conflict constructively, using our innate curiosity, creativity and collaboration. While conflict can clearly bring out the worst in us, it can also bring out the best in us – if we unlock our full potential.” We must as Ury writes is to see issues and conflicts “differently” – as possibilities rather than dead ends. [Italics are Mr. Ury’s.]

Now that the prisoner swap has been concluded, there is the possibility – or perhaps hope – that adversaries like the U.S. and Russia – can make further deals, including ones that free remaining prisoners like Mark Fogel, a school teacher who remains in a Russian prison.

First posted on Forbes.com 8.00.2024

Putting Ego Second

There used to be a saying in baseball that a player’s legs were the first to go. Comedian George Burns, who performed well into his eighties, would deadpan, taking out his cigar, “No, the legs are the second,” referring to a loss of virility.

When it comes to leadership—as with so many great players—virility plays second fiddle to the ego. These past weeks have seen ego cause President Joe Biden to assume a defensive posture by refusing to step down as a candidate for another term. The harder he tried, the weaker he looked, physically and mentally.

Until now.

President Biden is stepping away from the ticket and endorsing his running mate, Vice President Kamala Harris. The politics of this decision will be debated from now until the election in November and well beyond. 

Lessons to learn

Since I am not a political commentator, I focus on what leaders learn from Biden’s stepping away. As I have written many times about when it is time for the leader to step down, the biggest and best reason is always the effect such a decision has on the organization. 

In this regard, Biden has done what many in his party wanted him to do. He is not the hale and hearty man he was as vice president or president when elected in 2020. Father Time is the great leveler, and Joe Biden realized it.

The ego can affirm what a leader wants to hear and believe. It is vital to the ability to want authority and exercise power. But when the ego clouds the vision and jeopardizes the mission, it is toxic.

A by-product of ego is the supplicants who feed the ego—the leaders and their own. They enjoy the perks of power as if they were in charge, which is never suitable for an organization or the leaders themselves.

History will judge whether Biden wavered too long. Many would say yes. Party stalwarts preferred to give Biden, a proud man, the space he needed to digest the tenor of the times and then decide.

Respect for the man

Now that he has decided to fulfill his term as president but seek no extension, it is right to honor him as a faithful public servant, one who, even in the most contentious times, was able to seek consensus across the political divide. The Bipartisan Infrastructure bill may be his crowning achievement. 

Biden has always been very human. He has overcome the loss of his first wife and the death of two children, including son Beau, to whom he was very close and perhaps admired more than any other person. Such losses did not break him; they gave him the strength to carry on, and in doing so, he connected with people who had suffered losses, no matter how personal.

Biden was never perfect. He made mistakes that cost him political capital. And, at times, he could be a gaffe machine. He would often misspeak, at times due to a stutter, but usually, because he loved to speak, sometimes mixing up names, dates and people. 

Now, President Biden can use his remaining time in office to campaign for the candidates and issues that have always animated him. His stepping aside shows that good leaders are the true masters of their egos.

First posted on Forbes.com on 7.21.2014

Making the Moral Choice That Matters

As I was reading Catastrophe Ethics: How to Choose Well in a World of Touch Choices by Travis Rieder, the title of a children’s book I used to read to my children came to mind — The World Is Big and I’m So Small.

Yes, the world is big, and sadly, unlike in the children’s book, the problems cannot be solved by mythical knights with assistance from Mom and Dad. 

Yes, the problems are significant, and we as individuals are small—and we may not know what to do—but we must address them. A bioethicist at Johns Hopkins, Rieder, argues that the moral philosophy that has shaped humankind provides a framework for addressing the challenges of our times. Still, we need a revitalization of thinking and doing to confront what we face today.

The Puzzle

Rieder frames Catastrophe Ethics around a concept he calls “The Puzzle,” a framework for examining a problem of great consequence: climate change, abortion, and racism. As Rieder writes, “(1) a massive harm threatens, which makes moral stakes feel high; but (2) individuals are largely powerless to affect meaningful change; and so (3) this leads to passionate disagreement about what individuals are morally required to do.”

Here’s a thought problem: Would it be better to use funds for fine dining to alleviate hunger in distressed parts of the world? You say yes, certainly. But then what about the restauranteur, his staff, his suppliers and those who enjoy fine cuisine? Should we minimize their happiness to provide happiness to those who are starving?

You can argue both sides of the issue, and that’s the challenge this book presents. What one side advocates imperils the primacy of the other side’s argument. Few argue that climate change is a positive, yet responses to the problem often pit one side against the other. Your solution works for you but is harmful to me and my family.

“I try to make clear how often I’ve changed my own view,” Travis Rieder told me in a recent interview. “I spend my life thinking about ethics. It is my day job, it is my passion, and I’m constantly finding nuances and developing and being convinced by other thoughtful people who bring things to light.” Rieder says, “Even on things that we have the deepest disagreement, there is probably something that we can identify that is an insight… I really try to get people to search for those insights, to search for those shared starting points, to see the other people that they’re talking about not as evil or bad or deeply fallen, but instead as folks that are just starting from a different place.”

This issue became a stark relief when we saw climate activists storm the 18th hole at the Traveler’s tournament in Connecticut. As a golfer myself, I know the issue well. The activists view golf as detrimental to the planet in terms of chemicals used to control pests and the vast amounts of water needed to keep the courses green. And it’s a conundrum I wrestle with as an avid (not very good) golfer. I support golf as a participant and follower of the game as a Hobbesian choice.

As Rieder says, “One of the things that I want to say is I was taught by my mom a long time ago, be part of the solution and not part of the problem… What are the ways in which you can become part of a solution, which are the ways in which you can stop being part of the problem?”

Engage and Involve Yourself

The commitment to making a difference is the search for meaning, or more directly, the implementation of that search. Becoming involved in an issue that matters and engages the heart and mind is an exercise of agency, of being fully human. Our challenges today are sometimes existential – climate change, indeed – but so is our humanity. As a people, we have faced gigantic challenges, but we have survived because we used our most precious resource – our humanity – to face them. And we have survived.

The very conclusion describes how his book gets to the heart of the matter when we face. Ignoring the problem leads to “moral emptiness.

“But when we recognize that there is real goodness in responding to threats in different ways, than that we get to – and need to – participate in determining that response, we rescue our moral agency from the threat of nihilism. We build a meaningful life. This is the world of Catastrophe Ethics.”

Note: To view the full interview with Travis Rieder, click here.

First posted on Forbes.com 6.26.2024

The Urgent Need to Protect Tacit Knowledge

A key to Japanese manufacturing prowess is kaizen, the discipline of continuous improvement grounded in worker involvement partnering with management to accomplish program goals. Inherent with kaizen is gemba, meaning “the actual place,” precisely where the work is done. When people design and build products convene, they exchange ideas, develop best practices, and share what they have learned. A term for such lessons is tacit knowledge, meaning the “knowledge behind the knowledge.”

Today tacit knowledge is less prevalent in management discussions than in the nineties. But that is changing. A recent Bartleby column in The Economist sketched the reason why. “All organisations face the problem of storing and transferring knowledge so that newcomers know what’s what, lessons are learned from successes and failures, and wheels are not constantly being reinvented. An ageing workforce adds to the urgency of training inexperienced hires before the old hands leave the building.”

Tacit Knowledge

Examples of tacit knowledge are what skilled tradespeople practice daily. A licensed electrician has passed the certification courses, but their actual knowledge is how to apply it to the workplace situation. That only comes from their apprenticeship and journeyman experiences. In short, you can read the diagram, but making it work requires expertise honed from experience. Electricians possess tacit knowledge.

Every discipline needs tacit knowledge. With such knowledge, things get done. 

One of the foremost thinkers in the area of tacit knowledge is Ikujiro Nonaka. “Tacit knowledge is personal, context-specific, and therefore hard to formalize and communicate,” wrote Nonaka. “Explicit or ‘codified’ knowledge, on the other hand, refers to knowledge that is transmittable in formal, systematic language.”

“By definition, tacit knowledge is knowledge that we aren’t aware we have. So it is hard to surface,” says Dan Denison, a founding partner of Denison Consulting and professor emeritus at IMD in Lausanne, “Ever hear the phrase, he (or she) has forgotten more than I’ll ever know? That’s an acknowledgment that someone has tacit knowledge that they aren’t aware of and that it is powerful.” 

In the mid-nineties, Denison was a visiting professor studying with Nonaka and his colleagues at Hitotsbashi University in Tokyo. He shares a story that Nonaka tells about what Mitsubishi when it was working on the development of bread-making machines. “The early ones burned the bread on the outside and left it gooey on the inside,” says Denison.

 Mitsubishi sent engineers to observe how pastry chefs worked. The engineers “discovered that the pastry chefs used a twisting and stretching technique, rather than just stirring up the dough.” The design team built a machine that could twist the dough, and it worked well. “Surfacing tacit knowledge often means using something like an apprentice model to get started.”

With Hirotakei Takeuchi, Nonaka developed the SECI model of knowledge transformation via socialization, externalization, combination, and internalization. The SECI model helps organizations translate their implicit knowledge into explicit knowledge that can be shared and practiced. [The Knowledge Creating Company: How Japanese Companies Create the Dynamics of Innovation is a seminal book on tacit knowledge.]

Addressing the Problem

With the Boomer generation exiting the workplace in droves, how can you ensure that you and your team embrace tacit knowledge? Here are some suggestions.

Create awareness. Tacit knowledge resides in the experience of those doing the job. For this reason, managers need to identify who on the team knows what and enable them to practice what they do best. 

Share it. Mentoring is a perfect way to disseminate knowledge. Tradesmen excel at doing this with on-the-job training. Junior technicians are paired with the veterans to learn “the right way” to do things. 

Improve upon it. Tacit knowledge is generative. It feeds upon itself. Once someone has gained the know-how to do the job, they can share and improve it. That practice is the key to learning within kaizen. Never is tacit knowledge more important than now as we integrate AI into our daily work processes. 

Make It Work

Tacit knowledge is not novel; it is not innovative in itself, but without it, innovation fails – or at least is much more complicated – because you are always starting from scratch, metaphorically redesigning the wheel by ignoring it is already there. 

Many organizations invite former employees to rejoin as consultants. This is a good solution in principle, but the challenge is to integrate the practice of tacit knowledge into daily management.

“In an economy where the one certain is uncertainty,” wrote Professor Nonaka, “the one sure source of lasting competitive advantage is knowledge.” Every organization’s challenge is to capture, nurture, and sustain that knowledge.

First posted on Forbes.com 3.20.24

How the Storytelling Process Can Make You a Better Coach

Storytelling is an essential part of leadership communications. In the following sentence, Steve Almond, author of Truth Is the Arrow, Mercy Is the Bow, writes:

“The most fundamental question for readers is to who we’re being ask to care about, what they desire, and what sort of trouble they encounter in pursuit of that desire. In other words, what promises is the piece making? Has our protagonist been forced to reckon with external obstacles and internal conflicts?”

If you were to substitute readers for followers and a piece for a story, you would have an excellent framework for shaping a story. Almond has authored 11 books and has taught writing in MFA programs for decades. Truth Is the Arrow is a distillation of what he teaches. And he does it with verve, candor, style and courage.

Why We Need Stories

For that reason, his exploration of storytelling is worth exploring for leaders who need to communicate more effectively with their followers. Stories have beginnings, middles and ends, and in the management environment, leaders know the beginning but not the ending. Forming the ending – fulfilling the mission – is a series of “middles” – ever-changing and ever-challenging.

 The narrative in fiction has been plotted, though when the writer is writing, they may not know it at the time. Same for work life. We mark milestones, but we are still in the process. Storytelling – that sheds light on people and effort – makes the progression worthy of further commitment.

A vital part of storytelling is revealing something of yourself. Almond does a skillful job telling parts of his story throughout the book. He is not afraid to laugh at his early writing efforts. More directly, he deals with family challenges and is not afraid to call himself out for shortcomings in his teaching.

Almond notes that writers come to workshops to express themselves, and part of that expression involves the grasp of self-knowledge. In this regard, the principles of the writing process mirror the coaching process, peeling back the layers to help the individual learn more about themselves.

An essential part of storytelling is humor. At this, Almond is a master. Not afraid to reveal his own foibles, he does so in ways that make us laugh and at the same time say, “I know that feeling.” That lesson is something that binds listeners – and followers – to the storytellers. Consider it vulnerability tinged with what it means to be fully alive.

Revealing Self

Near the end of the book, there is a chapter, “Man at the Top of the Stairs,” that explores a character’s inner life. Writers have to find a different way of being in the world,” writes Almond. “The making of literature is the manner by which we come to understand our inner lives, by which we travel in difficult truth toward elusive mercy, and thereby affirm the bonds of human kindness.”

Same holds true for leaders. Their connection to those they lead may waver from time to time, but when the leader knows themselves they have the capacity to look outward, to connect with others with story that resonate with shared experience. And when those stories reflect hopes and aspirations tempered with kindness and grace, the connection between leader and follower remains resilient and firm.

First posted on Forbes.com 5.00.2024

 Note: For more insights into the parallels between writing and coaching, here is my LinkedIn Live interview with Steve Almond.

How to Live ‘The Good Life’

Is there a secret to living a better and happier life?

In The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness, Robert Waldinger, M.D., and Marc Schultz, Ph.D., co-directors of the Harvard Adult Development study, write “Positive relationships are essential to human well-being.” This finding, drawn from the Harvard Adult Development Study, which began in the late 1930s, echoes something we humans have known for millennials. The authors quote Lao Tzu, who wrote 2400 years ago, “The more you give to others, the greater your abundance.”

Building good relationships

Relationships, according to Dr. Waldinger, are not merely external. “If you think about it, you carry around many people you care about inside you all day long. You can call up a warm image of a friend or a loved one. And so in that sense, we carry them around. You carry around a warm image of somebody who may have passed away a long time ago. So it’s often useful to think about how we carry people with us as we go through the world.”

Fostering good relations with others can depend upon what the authors call “the power of generosity.” 

In our recent interview, Dr. Waldinger said, “Research tells us that when we are generous, we feel better and happier. We feel like our lives are more meaningful. So when we help people, we take care of ourselves… We know that being generous makes us feel like our lives are better.”

Helping ourselves

One practical element, among many, in the book is the W.I.S.E.R. model (Watch. Interpret. Select. Engage. Reflect). “Wiser model is really just a way of slowing things down when you have a challenging interaction, particularly with another person.” As the authors write, imagine you receive an email from your boss at 5 p.m. saying he wants to meet you at 9 a.m. The intent of the email is ambiguous. “And the problem with our wonderful minds doing that is that we can often create a story that isn’t true when we get this kind of challenging stimulus from somebody else.”

Dr Waldinger says, “Don’t jump to conclusions, don’t reply right away if you don’t have to. But just think, okay, what might be going on? What am I assuming and what do I actually know for a fact?” 

“When you receive an angry email or an angry text and you want to reply right away with something, and that’s the time to stop and slow down,” says Dr. Waldinger. “Take a moment, take a breath, or count backwards from five back to zero. Just anything to interrupt the swirl of thoughts. Think about it.”

Addressing loneliness

Loneliness is an epidemic in our country, and according to the U.S. Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy, it is a health issue. In a health advisory issued by his office in 2023, Dr. Murthy wrote that beyond health hazards such as cardiovascular disease and dementia, “the harmful consequences of a society that lacks social connection can be felt in our schools, workplaces, and civic organizations, where performance, productivity, and engagement are diminished.”

Fostering a sense of belonging is an essential antidote to loneliness. Human resource professionals need to address this issue more seriously in the workplace. Leaders must show the way by “being interested in other people’s lives, curiosity about your colleagues and your workers. It means modeling vulnerability and not knowing. It means modeling, learning to get help from other people, all that as part of enhancing relationships with other people.”

Value others

Good relationships are essential to a life well-lived. We must find ways to connect that benefit others and, in turn, ourselves. It is important to be open to possibility of deep connection. It’s good for you and your life. The authors write in their concluding chapter that it is essential to realize that “the good life is not a destination. It is the path itself, and the people who are walking it with you.” 

“Keep reaching out to people, email people, text people regularly saying, just thinking about you, wanting to say hi or checking in about how they’re doing,” says Dr. Waldinger. “For the people who are really important, make regular dates with them. Make sure that you have a once a month lunch with that friend who you don’t want to lose touch with no matter what.” Recognize their contributions to you and let them know it. 

Note: Here is my full LinkedIn Live interview with Dr. Robert Waldinger.

First posted on Forbes.com 4.04.2024

Understanding Bad Leadership

Catch this clip of Professor Barbara Kellerman of the Harvard Kennedy School talking about “The Social Disease of Bad Leadership.”

Synopsis:

In the YouTube video “GRACE under pressure: John Baldoni with Barbara Kellerman,” Barbara Kellerman, a Harvard Kennedy School Center for Public Leadership fellow, discusses her focus on the negative outcomes of leadership and challenges the industry’s portrayal of leadership as only positive.

Kellerman argues that there are many bad leaders and managers and shares her unique perspective on the dark side of leadership. John Baldoni emphasizes the importance of understanding how leaders become bad and the role of followers and context. They use extreme examples like Adolf Hitler to illustrate the subjectivity of defining good and bad leadership. Baldoni also discusses the concept of bad leadership as a social disease and the importance of accountability.

Kellerman emphasizes the need for individuals to have a moral compass and take a stand against bad leadership, even in complex situations. They also touch on the importance of qualities like gratitude, respect, authenticity, clarity, and ethics in leadership.

Here is the full interview with Professor Barbara Kellerman speaking about her newest book, Leadership from Bad to Worse.