5 Ways to Empower Yourself

The other day, I was asked how I empower myself. It was a question I had not been asked before, but after a moment’s reflection, I replied with four words. Learn. Work. Connect. Serve.

Learn. College, my physician father used to say, is where you go to learn how to learn. While that statement does apply to college, it can be broadened to include any experience that teaches us lessons – be it a sport, a craft, an art, or an application of a skill. Our challenge – indeed our responsibility – is to integrate those experiences into learning lessons.

Work. There is dignity to work. Putting yourself into your work means you are applying what you know to what you can do. There is a satisfaction to labor, a job well done. Hard work may be the most satisfying because you know you have applied not only your knowledge but your energy. Fatigue from work (not overwork) indicates that you have put forth the effort.

Connect. Loneliness has become so widespread that it is a health condition affecting one in five Americans. Too many of us lack the connection with others. Robert Waldinger, MD, who leads the Harvard, the longest-running study of adults dating back to the late Thirties, writes in his book, The Good Life, that what matters most in life is not wealth or health. It is the connection to others. From relationships, we create a community, a place where we feel we belong.

Serve. The purpose of life is to serve yourself and others. You serve yourself by applying the four words above. Doing so puts you in a position to serve others. The late Frances Hesselbein taught us to lead is to serve. 

Her good friend Alan Mulally, former CEO of Ford Motor Company, lives by this mantra. With one addition. Love. Without love, our lives would be empty. We both need it to enrich us as we, in turn, use it to enrich others. Love powers our ability to serve.

What you do with those five words – and any others you find relevant – will enable you to define how you want to live your life. Choose wisely, and continue to apply what you have learned to make a positive difference for yourself and others.

First post on SmartBrief.com 12.11.2024

Navigating Your Next Career Move

Uncertainty is the watchword of our times. As we navigate the post-Covid landscape, many organizations make hard decisions about where they are going next and how many employees they will need for their new future.

For some companies and their employees, layoffs are looming or have already occurred. Senior leaders’ strategic decisions impact the lives of millions. What will I do next? becomes the question of the day.

Mary Olson-Menzel knows the feeling. She began her career as a TV news reporter and then moved into executive recruiting, a natural fit for her interviewing skills. After running a search firm, she made the leap into executive coaching, working with senior executives of leading companies. Now, Olson-Menzel has distilled her insights into a new book, What Lights You Up? Illuminate Your Path and Take the Next Big Step in Your Career.

Dealing with layoffs

“The whole idea about a layoff — or a looming layoff — is to be prepared for that layoff well before it happens,” Olson-Menzel told me in a recent interview. Preparation involves maintaining a strong network. “Talk to different people about what’s happening out there in the industry. Even when you’re happy in a job, you want to be prepared for the unexpected.”

Olson-Menzel says, “Anyone who’s been hit by a layoff — expected or unexpected — it’s a grieving process. There’s the shock factor that happens. I mean, we’re all human, right? And it’s a blow to our ego. It’s a blow to our bank account.”

Do not brush these feelings aside, says Olson-Menzel. “If you can allow yourself to feel the feelings, have the grace for yourself, the grace that you would give to other people.” You need this strength to move forward. 

The key to getting back on your feet is to project a sense of confidence. As Olson-Menzel says, you do not have to do it alone. “When you’re going through the roadblocks and the ups and downs in life, you need to be okay asking for help. Really be okay leaning into that support system. Because nine times out of ten people want to help you.”

Tell your story

One way to demonstrate who you are and what you can do is by learning to tell your story. “Story is the key to human connection. Storytelling has been around since the stone ages, and if you can tell an authentic story about your life and your career trajectory and how you got to where you are today, your nine times out of ten going to be able to connect on a much deeper level with the person that’s interviewing you.”

Olson-Menzel says part of your story may involve accounting for gaps in your resume, such as when you may have been out of work. She encourages individuals to be honest about such gaps but also includes a bit of creativity. For example, one of her clients who took time off for her children referred to her job as chief of operations, itemizing all she was doing for her family. Tell your story in ways that “will make somebody smile or make somebody laugh.”

Three factors

When considering a job—or career—change, there are three factors to consider: prospects, pivots and passions. Prospects are organizations that may hire you. Pivots are new possibilities where you might be hired if your existing skill set can be adapted to a new operating environment. Passion “is where you can take what you love to do and what truly lights you up and apply it into a structure where you can earn money and do it as a living.” 

Regarding pivot, Menzel-Olson says, “I tell my clients, say yes to every conversation, even if it doesn’t feel like it might be a fit, you have no idea where it will lead to. But there are beautiful pivots that can happen very organically if you’re open to conversations and open to the idea that you might not be able to check all the boxes of that position description. But if you have the right energy, the right attitude, there are many hiring managers who will take a chance on you and teach you the skills.”

In your new job

Once you land the job, you need to find ways to acclimate. “Now you become a student of the company… You soak up everything.” This kind of effort will enable the new employee to not only understand the organization but also the people in it.

Meet with your peers, your bosses, and whoever else you can. “Learning what it is that drives them, and what you can do to help them do their jobs better.” Once you know how you can fit it, you can collaborate. And those who collaborate well earn trust and, in time, build influence.

Influence is fundamental to leadership. And, says Olson-Menzel, leadership does not always involve having direct reports. “Even if you’re not leading people, you can become a leader in the organization. You have to get rid of that mindset that you have to be leading people in order to be a leader.” Olson-Menzel tells the story of a client who landed a significant leadership role that involves “leading the charge” on a transformational effort related to its brand.

Regain your confidence

Changing jobs is never easy, but so often, what looks hard initially morphs into something that challenges us and can enable us to fulfill what we truly wish to do.

Note: Click here to listen to my LinkedIn Live interview with Mary Olson-Menzel.

First posted on SmartBrief.com 10.10.2024

Poetry to Make Us Laugh

Poetry is the distillation of thought expressed in a form designed to cut through the clutter of ordinary expressions and deliver a thought, a message, or an emotion that resonates with truth.

And sometimes humor.

Such is the case with the acclaimed poet and novelist John Kenney. His latest book of poetry, and another in his Love Poems series, is Love Poems (for the Office). Kenney, a long-time copywriter, has a gift for catching moments of truth in office settings. (Note: The book was published in 2020, just as the great migration to remote and hybrid work locations began.)

The book begins with Bertrand Russell’s quote, “One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” While I am no expert on this mathematical genius and philosopher, I am guessing that Russell is poking fun at those of us who, at times, take ourselves too seriously. (Yes, guilty as charged.)

Such seriousness can lead us into winding ourselves and our teams around the proverbial axle too tightly. Such an approach only compounds organizational snafus. Martin Lindstrom, global authority on branding, opens his latest book, Ministry of Common Sense: How to Eliminate Red Tape, Bad Excuses and Corporate BSwith a story we have all experienced – contacting IT support when your computer has quit. The hitch — or should we say Catch-22 — is that to contact IT, you must use your computer.

Illuminating Us

Kenney does a great job in his poetry of illuminating how humans navigate the workplace, whether they’re away from it, in it, or somewhere in between.

Kenney writes in “Conference Call”:

Sometimes

I think better

when I pace

Around my small home office.

So that’s what I was doing

when talking through

the Q4 numbers.

I also tend to think better

when I am not wearing pants.

Or in “Annual job review, via Zoom.”

It was not my understanding

That your mother-in-law

would be on our Zoom call.

as I hadn’t realized you were staying with her.

Back in the office, there is “Open seating.”

I love the new open seating plan.

I really do.

I love having no idea

Where I am going to sit each day.

Or where others are.

Here is Kenney weighing on the jargon we use.

When you say

Ping me

I want to punch you.

Bio break, too.

It makes me cringe.

[continuing]

I would like to park this project.

And this job.

Now.

Sorry.

I have a hard stop.

None too serious

Work is very hard, and when a poet of Kenney’s talent and wit casts it in sharp relief, we nod and say yes before breaking into smiles and laughter.

The joy of Kenney’s poetry is that he does not take himself too seriously. As he writes in the mock interview that opens the book,

Q: What you have done in this book is take the mundane world of the office and turn that world into the mundane poems?

A: I think that’s exactly right.

This is another reminder that work is work, and while important, it is not all important. If we cannot laugh at ourselves, work—or life in general—is that much harder.

First posted on Forbes.com 10.15.2024

Tenacity Gives the Detroit Lions Their Roar

Dan Miller, the Detroit Lions’ radio voice, excitedly extolled the Lions’ grit and resilience. The Lions had just beaten the Green Bay Packers with a last-second field goal. 

The victory qualified the Lions for the playoffs for the second consecutive year. 

This year, the Lions are on their way to the Super Bowl with a 12-1 record that could give them a home-field advantage in the playoffs. Last year, they made it to the NFC Championship team but lost on the road to the San Francisco 49ers. 

Once the laughing stock of the NFL, the Lions have boasted a 32-6 record since November 2022, which is in the same rarified air as the two-time defending Super Bowl champs, the Kansas City Chiefs.

More Than Grit

Yes, the Lions have grit, but what makes this team so special is its tenacity. They have lost a number of starters on defense, including their two best defensive players, Aidan Hutchinson and Alex Anzalone—both out with season-ending injuries.

Yet they keep on winning. 

“I think a lot of it is just that what we’ve had to overcome,” Lions Head Coach Dan Campbell said. “The hand we were dealt and I just love the fact our guys don’t make excuses, they just find a way… Everybody on this team believed we were going to win that game, and we were going to find a way, and we just, we did it again. We did it again. Guys did it.” 

What We Can Learn

So, let’s explore how the Lions do it.

Build a strong culture. Sheila Ford Hamp took over the team from her mother, Martha Ford, widow of the longtime owner, William Clay Ford. Sheila’s competitive spirit, honed as a varsity tennis player at Yale, gives her a perspective on winning. She hired Brad Holmes as General Manager and Campbell as head coach, who hired two exceptional coordinators, Ben Johnson for offense and Aaron Glenn for defense. The two of them went 3-13 in their first season, and Sheila herself was booed during an event at Ford Field honoring a former player. She took it in stride. Sheila believed in the plan Holmes and Campbell had developed.

Be professional. Coming to the Lions used to be a form of exile. No one knew that better than quarterback Jared Goff, who was traded from the Los Angeles Rams for star quarterback Matthew Stafford. Goff had led the Rams to the Super Bowl. Yet outwardly, he showed nothing but professionalism. He accepted his new role and worked hard. His example certainly rubbed off on his teammates. 

Flex with the situation. Campbell, a former NFL player himself, preaches the “next man up” philosophy. When a player goes down, another is ready to take his place, a necessity in a game as violent as professional football.

Be resourceful. This is where the Lions excel. Brad Holmes finds replacement players who can step into the lineup and play. During the Green Bay game, they had players on defense who had only days before signed contracts with the Lions. They were veteran players, yes, but new to the Lions system. They did not jell on every play but did well enough to hold the Packers at bay.

Tenacity Enhances Culture

This approach results in a tenacious team that finds ways to win. For those of us who make our livings off the field, learning how to use tenacity builds results. 

Managers will lose key performers, often because they are promoted. The manager’s role is to put new people into those positions and groom them for success. Enforce a culture that rewards individuals for what they can do, not what others have done before them. Stress flexibility and adaptability to new situations. Tenacity in the face of adversity is a strength.

No one knows how to demonstrate tenacity better than Campbell, who has a reputation for making risky decisions that pay off. “I think [Campbell’s] done a really good job of deciding when to go and when not to go [for it],” quarterback Jared Goff said. “That’s the game he plays… and we trust him.” 

Only time will tell how far the Lions go this year, but from the perspective of a fan, they sure are fun to watch and teach us a few lessons about winning along the way.

First posted on Forbes.com 12.07.24

How Kindness Can Help Transform Horror into Poetry

Chief among the insights we gain from reading history is that what we read is often relevant to what we are experiencing today. Such is the case with Soldiers Don’t Go Mad: A Story of Brotherhood, Poetry, and Mental Illness During the First World War by Charles Glass. 

Glass, a former war correspondent for ABC News, centers his story on Craiglockhart, a health resort turned into a treatment center for British officers suffering “shell shock” in what was then called The Great War. 

Humane Treatment

The treatment offered to the soldiers seems so modern for its time. Its commanding officer focused on helping the residents regain their mental facilities by treating them first as patients rather than soldiers. The commanding officer was physician Major William H. Bryce, a career officer. As Glass writes, “Bryce recoiled at military formality. It was his belief, he wrote, ‘there should be little to indicate a hospital regime beyond the few regulations to ensure order.'”

The residents were not required to wear uniforms, including wearing slippers. The men were encouraged to venture into town, Edinburgh, and partake in its offerings, from dining to theater, including meeting family and friends. Socialization was integral to recovery. Fellow psychiatrist Dr. Arthur John Brock believed that the city was “an integral part of the Craiglockhart ‘cure’” and as Glass writes offering “ideal conditions for [the men’s] restoration.”

Two War Poets

Craiglockhart was also the place where two of the best-known war poets, Siegfried Sassoon and Wilfred Owen, resided for a time. A third poet, Robert Graves, a friend of Sassoon, also visited. All three men served honorably and with distinction, with Sassoon earning the Military Cross. 

Glass profiles two psychiatrists. Dr. William H.R. Rivers treated Sassoon with what today we would call “talk therapy.” Dr. Arthur J. Brock treated Owens with a kind of “work therapy,” keeping busy. This initiative led Owen to create and publish a literary journal for Craiglockhart called The Hydro, a reference to the facility’s origin as a hydrotherapy spa. 

Sassoon was confined because he had grown disillusioned with the War and protested it with a letter to the Times of London. While he was suffering from a form of PTSD, he was sent to Craiglockhart to be “cured” of his antipathy toward the War. Owen was severely wounded and ended up in Craiglockhart for more formal treatment.

Sassoon, born into an aristocratic Jewish family, was well-connected and well-known as a poet. Owen, who was middle-class and had not attended university, had yet to publish. At Craiglockhart, and with the help of their psychiatrists, both were able to hone their thinking and craft. 

What we gain from their stories is how their experiences shaped their art and, in turn, shed light on the experience of War in ways that had not yet been told. Britain entered the War on a wave of patriotic fervor. Rupert Brooke, a young poet, was emblematic of his time writing in a heroic vain. He was killed in 1915 before the reality of the slaughter was known. Sassoon turned his pen to the cruelties of a mismanaged war. Here is a sampling from the poem “Base Details.”

If I were fierce and bald, and short of breath,

I’d live with scarlet Majors at the Base

And speed glum heroes up to the line to death.

[continuing]

“Poor young chap,” 

I’d say – “I used to know his father well.

Yes, we’ve lost heavily in this last scrap.”

And when the War is done, and youth stone dead,

I’d toddle safely home and die – in bed.”

Owen focused on the troops themselves telling their stories. In “Dulce et Decorum Est” – perhaps his most famous poem, he writes of the aftermath of a gas attack.

If in some smothering dreams, you too could pace

Behind the wagon that we flung him in,

And watch the white eyes writhing in his face…

My friend, you would not tell with such high zest

To children ardent for some desperate glory,

The Old Lie: Dulce et decorum est

Pro patria mori.

[Translation: How sweet it is to die for one’s country.]

The Aftermath

Sassoon survived the War and continued his literary journey. His friend Robert Graves did the same. [Graves is the author of I Claudius, the story of the Roman Emperor who was born in the age of Augustus and survived the madness of Caligula to become emperor himself.] Owen was not so fortunate. He was killed on November 7, 1918, four days before the Armistice took effect.

As Glass writes in his introduction, “Had Rivers treated Owen and Brock been responsible for Sassoon, this would have been a different story. Had both young officers been sent to different hospitals, they would not have met, and the poems they wrote would have been vastly different from the masterpieces the world knows.”

Today, PTSD remains a pressing issue for many vets who experienced combat. Lessons learned at a treatment center in Scotland more than a century ago set a foundation for learning the causes of the trauma and how to help those suffering to recover.

First posted on Forbes.com 00.00.2024

Anne Chow Knows What It Takes to Lead Bigger (And Better)

Sometimes, the best way to define something is to describe what it is not.

That approach is exactly what Anne Chow took when describing a form of management she defines as “small.” Included are habits such as being penny-wise and pound-foolish, using a narrow lens, micromanaging, missing the big picture and being too self-focused. These descriptors set up what it means to—as she says in the title of her new book—Lead Bigger!

“Leading small is almost literally that not having a broad perspective, not thinking about the consequences of what you’re doing,” Chow told me in a recent interview. It’s “being incredibly transactional in your nature, and quite frankly being very self-oriented, perhaps not intentionally, but being very self-oriented as opposed to being selfless in a way,”

Former CEO of AT&T Business—and the first woman and woman of color to hold that title—Chow advocates that to lead truly bigger, you need to “widen your perspective to have greater performance and impact.”  This concept is not new to Chow. What struck me was that we are always told to think bigger, especially if we’re in a rut, if there’s a disruption that’s happened in the marketplace, a new technology, a challenge in the workforce, a challenge on a geopolitical basis, think bigger since we were young since we were little kids.”

Acting with a sense of purpose

Doing this requires the power of purpose to focus on work that matters with engaged employees who can innovate and are agile enough to adapt to change. “It takes people to drive a business, it takes people to be the heart and soul of the business. The business does not drive people. And the quicker you realize that, the quicker you realize that it is our job as leaders, leadership is all about people. You manage things, you lead people,” says Chow.

Doing so can create a sense of community “Whether it’s internal to your organization with your employees” or your customers and stakeholders. As Chow says, “It’s ultimately about people. So that sense of community, that sense of connection is vital in order for you to get done what you need to get done in the most effective and efficient ways.”

 One feature of the book I found appealing is the posing of questions at the end of every chapter. For example, on the topic of purpose, Chow poses these questions:

·      “Do you know what impact your company makes in the world?

·      “Do your employees and customers believe your company embodies your purpose?

·      “Do you have a plan to refresh your purpose as the market changes?”

These are straightforward questions that require real self-awareness to answer correctly and honestly. 

Defining inclusion

The subtitle of Chow’s book is “The Transformative Power of Inclusion.” In other words, to lead bigger, you need to think beyond your own experiences and horizons. This engagement can only occur when you involve people from all different backgrounds. Involvement means inclusion, welcoming them to contribute and to create a community.

Presence is essential to the notion of inclusion. But it would help if you were smart about what you are asking for, says Chow. “And it’s up to us as leaders to really understand what is productivity really, and what is it that we need. I don’t think there’s a single person who would disagree that in person is better for building deep connection, but it is not necessary to get every bit of every job done.”

 Some tasks can be done remotely; other activities like brainstorming, manufacturing, and front-line jobs require physical presence. “I think we as leaders, bigger leaders have to work harder at showing why and developing the systems of utilizing presence and proximity to our advantage, not the way it was before, which is the way I learned to lead is we all sit in the same building,” says Chow

Such perspectives—as Chow teaches us in her writing and speaking—add dimension to the concept of inclusion. It’s not a formula; it’s a process that makes an organization stronger, wiser, more adaptable and resilient because it engages the hearts and minds of employees who feel they belong.

Here is a link to my full LinkedIn Live interview with Anne Chow.

First posted on SmartBrief.com 9.11.2024

How Can We Find the Upside to Disruption?

Once upon a time, disruption became synonymous with radical change. Corporations struggling to cope with Asian competition rushed to reinvent how they thought, planned and operated. Disruption was king.

Until it wasn’t.

Companies that embraced it realized that disruption was not something to be cherished with the new and out with the old sent shudders throughout the organization. 

Terence Mauri understands that mantra, and in his new book, The Upside of Disruption: The Path to Leading in the Unknown, he recasts what must change and what must remain the same.

Explore the future.

As a futurist and relentless experimenter with AI, Mauri knows what organizations must do to make the future work for them, not against them. As he discussed in a recent interview, “Will AI be a disruptor or a democratizer? Will AI be an enabler or some type of dystopian Gollum mining us of our humanity?”

Mauri argues that it is important to use AI to unleash our brainpower. “Using AI intelligently, we create what’s called ROI, which is not just return on investment but a new human metric for a post-AI world return on intelligence.”

What does it mean to unlearn as it relates to disruption? While we all feel overwhelmed and discouraged by the volumes of data, Mauri says, “The upside could be a better way of doing things—a healthier way, a more sustainable way, a chance to reimagine, a chance to rethink.” 

“Imagine that you are in an organization and you’re spending less than 30% of your time on bureaucratic work and 70% of time on intelligent work. Right now, the ratio is the opposite. Research shows that most people are spending 70% of their week on bureaucratic outcomes at the expense of intelligent work, work that actually creates meaning and work that’s creative and innovative.”

When considering which form of technology to pursue, Mauri posits the “billion dollar beliefs.” With such a target, “you can prioritize a strategy, you can prioritize your leadership, your resource allocation around that.”

Find the right course.

“How do we harness AI in an ethical responsible and sustainable way? Asks Mauri. “My research at Hack Future Lab shows that data centers today [globally] consume over 5% of global electricity projections to 2030 could be 25%, and that’s just not tenable. That’s just one example of a potential risk we must mitigate now.”

Mauri says, “The worst thing we can do right now is just become more automated or use AI just to cut costs. I think we need to use it as a torture, be generative, and to achieve return on intelligence and return on imagination.”

Ensuring such an outcome takes work. It will take the collective efforts of individuals and organizations using AI to experiment and establish guidelines that improve productivity without degrading our humanity “to avoid artificial idiocy.” 

Finding possible solutions comes down to being inquisitive. “What questions do we need to be remembered for? What questions are not being asked that should be asked in terms of AI, what’s not being said that should be said?”

Mauri suggests we ask ourselves the following questions. “How do we harness AI in a way that aligns with humanity, aligns with our employees on the inside, our teams, on the inside, and our stakeholders on the outside. How do we align AI to be true to our values?.. We want are three things, truth, transparency, and trust.” 

Note: Readers can view my full LinkedIn Live interview with Terence Mauri here.

First posted on Forbes.com 9.17.2024

Three Ways to Keep Your Team Fresh and Focuses

Cast of Homicide: Life on the Streets

Sometimes, you have to mix it up to keep things fresh. One of the best ways to do that is by bringing in new people.

Tom Fontana, executive producer of Homicide: Life on the Streets, recalled this lesson in an interview on Fresh Air. As much as this police procedural, running from 1993 to 1999, was a different kind of show, the actors found themselves falling into routines.

“You get into a rhythm, and you get comfortable, and you – and the formula kind of settles in, and you know the show too well, and you know the characters too well,” says Fontana. “And what I’ve found over the course of time is that if you bring in somebody who has talent, even though it may not be – you know, an actor who may not have ever directed before, if you bring them in, they’re going to shake things up.”

As Fontana explains, the newcomers “are going to make you, and the other – the actors, the writers, and everybody, the crew – they’re going to make you not let the dust settle on what you’ve been doing for 15 episodes or 20 episodes.”

An example is when Fontana hired actress Katy Bates to direct an episode. She brought in actress Kathy Bates as a director for one of the episodes. “It was great because the actors on the show, all who had kind of, by that point in the year, settled into a kind of a rhythm.” By calling these things out, Bates challenged the actors by asking the actors, “why are you doing that? As a director, Bates the newcomer helped the actors stay energized.

Keeping It Fresh

Keeping things moving with fresh energy is a challenge for anyone in leadership, and so Tom Fontana shows that new people can bring new ideas. As a corollary, sometimes it’s good to take a flyer on talent that may as yet be unproven. Fontana himself is an example: Bruce Paltrow hired him to write for St. Elsewhere. Until then, Fontana had been a New York playwright, not a writer for television.

Here are some suggestions for keeping things fresh

Be open. Ideas abound, and the challenge is to harness them to good use. When a team member makes suggestions for doing things differently, listen. It’s easy to fall into the excuse that we don’t do things like that here. Fight that impulse.

Be willing. As you are open to new ideas, consider adding people different from yourself. Think about how their differences in background and experience can enhance your team. Only some individuals will be precisely the right fit, but every person can teach you something that may benefit you in the long run.

Be forgiving. Openness and willingness only work when people feel they can try new things. Such a feeling complements what it means to be psychologically safe. Creating such an environment falls to leadership. Let people know they belong by showing them so. If they make a mistake, use it as a teachable moment. Challenge them to make corrections and move forward.

Maintaining success

Seth Godin, prolific author, once said, “Leadership is the art of giving people a platform for spreading ideas that work.” A successful organization – whether a television show or a business enterprise – works because it has the right people in the right places. Such an approach does not occur magically. It requires individuals to commit to working together and sometimes integrating new people and new ideas into the mix so that the organization can continue to succeed.

First posted on Forbes.com 00.00.2024

What It Takes to Give a Great Speech

It’s the season of speeches.

Every four years, Americans are treated to oratory by speakers of both parties who address their national party conventions. The purpose of such oratory is less to persuade than to fire up the attendees who will sally forth from their respective conventions determined to mobilize forces for their candidates up and down the ballot.

Some of the speeches are downright scary, while others are joyous and uplifting. Regardless, the focus on so many speeches in such a condensed period of time emphasizes the power of the spoken word.

As a former speechwriter turned executive coach, I have helped many women and men hone their messages. I want to share a few things I have learned, mainly through trial and error.

Know your audience. People want to hear what you say, but you need to do your homework before you can connect. Understand what the audience expects of you and tailor your remarks to resonate with their needs.

Acknowledge your limitations. Many times, what a leader has to say is what they must say. That is, the situation is challenging and presents problems. A leader can only accomplish so much. Failure to acknowledge what you can do and what the organization must do is asking for trouble. People will simply tune out.

Address objections. Everyone wants to give an uplifting speech that resonates with harmony and joy. Unfortunately, life is not like that. Leaders need to paint a realistic picture, citing the pluses and minuses. What the leader must do may conflict with what the organization wants to do. It is the leader’s responsibility to be honest about the decisions and set the course forward.

Tell stories. Reveal yourself through stories. Cite examples of individuals in organizations who are making positive contributions. No leader succeeds alone. Every leader needs the team’s buy-in. So, make that clear.

Issue the call to action. Not every speech may need a formal call to action, but every public utterance needs to be understood as a call for unity, a coming together to achieve the mission. However, if there is a call to action, learn from the politicians—ask for their support. Simultaneously, include your commitment to supporting the individuals and teams that make up the organization.

Uplift your audience

Knowing, acknowledging, addressing and challenging are just the basics of speechmaking. Each speaker must craft a message that reveals who they are and what they want to accomplish. Give people a reason to believe in you because you believe in them.

One thing I have yet to emphasize in this little essay is delivery. So let me quote the legendary film director, John Ford, “You can speak well if your tongue can deliver the message of your heart.” In short, relax. If you have a good message, speak directly. Show people how you feel with the words you deliver. Doing so will encourage listeners to have faith in you and your leadership.

So often, it is said that a leader’s job is to elevate followers and enable them to do their best. If that is the case, a good speech—well-honed or off-the-cuff remarks—is an excellent way to begin the uplifting process.

First posted on Forbes.com 8.22.2024

When Negotiations Stall, Go Big

Think big! Even better, act big!

Richard Haass, president emeritus of the Council on Foreign Relations, expressed that sentiment when commenting on how the deal for the prisoner release was executed. Haass, a former diplomat, said on MSNBC’s Morning Joe that sometimes, when things look deadlocked, as they were during these hostage negotiations, it makes sense to go big. 

In this case, the tri-lateral talks among the U.S., Russia and Germany expanded when Victor Navalnyperished in a Russian gulag in February. Navalny was to be traded as a means of getting Vladimir Putin’s favored prisoner, Vadim Krasikov, an FSB colonel and hitman, released from German custody. 

Rather than give up, negotiators expanded their reach to involve seven countries, including Norway, Poland and Slovenia. The net result was that three U.S. hostages—Paul Whelan, Evan Gershkovich and Alsu Kurmasheva—were released along with other Russian human rights advocates. In return, Russia received Krasikov, along with other Russians, convicted of various crimes and incarcerated outside of Russia. In total, 24 prisoners were exchanged.

Haass’s dictum about going big extends behind diplomacy. Thinking big is a hallmark of many business deals; in fact, that kind of thinking propels the world of mergers and acquisitions. What is different with international prisoner exchanges, however, is that unlike M&A transactions, where sovereignty is subsumed by the stronger partner, in diplomacy, both sides remain whole.

Lessons to be learned.

Best-selling author and negotiator William Ury writes about what the diplomats accomplished in his new book, Possible: How We Survive (and Thrive) in a World of Conflict. “Zoom out and consider that game you are playing… What could you do to change the game from a win-lose battle to a game of constructive conflict and cooperation?”

We can learn from such actions for future negotiations in our own sphere of influence. Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert, says, “Actually, it’s good to think big and small. You’re seeking insights that might get the negotiation back on track. A negotiator may uncover the key that unlocks a deadlock by exploring both perspectives.” 

Take a step back. When things are deadlocked, people tend to give up. Often, it is better to pause, reflect and consider new possibilities. 

Look beyond the immediate issue. Rather than focus on what’s in front of us, think about what’s possible. Diplomatic negotiators did not let Navalny’s death kill negotiations. They expanded their horizons, ultimately involving other nations.

Keep trying. Negotiations can become tiring and even tedious. “Negotiations are tactical and mental,” says Williams. “To that point, when tactics a negotiator has planned to utilize don’t achieve their goal, that negotiator must remain mentally tough and not become frazzled by what may be a momentary setback. If one loses their cool, their mental abilities to keep their head in the negotiation can move from cool to cold. That’s when the negotiation becomes fraught with the potential of disappointment for that individual.”

Transparency and trust

The challenge is to continue dialogue, try new strategies and tactics, and achieve outcomes that benefit both sides.

Two outcomes of such thinking may result in greater transparency and trust. People get to know one another better, and since they cooperate in one effort, it may be possible to continue the relationship. Effective negotiations take time and effort, and as a result, it is easy to become discouraged.

“We can’t end conflict, but we can embrace it and transform it,” writes William Ury. “We choose to handle conflict constructively, using our innate curiosity, creativity and collaboration. While conflict can clearly bring out the worst in us, it can also bring out the best in us – if we unlock our full potential.” We must as Ury writes is to see issues and conflicts “differently” – as possibilities rather than dead ends. [Italics are Mr. Ury’s.]

Now that the prisoner swap has been concluded, there is the possibility – or perhaps hope – that adversaries like the U.S. and Russia – can make further deals, including ones that free remaining prisoners like Mark Fogel, a school teacher who remains in a Russian prison.

First posted on Forbes.com 8.00.2024