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Go ahead and panic.

Go outside and scream.

This advice was from Michelle Singletary, who spoke on NPR’s 1Aabout the angst and fear that many of us are feeling about the wavering state of our economy. Singletary is the nationally syndicated personal finance columnist for the Washington Post. She has held that post for more than 20 years, and for one good reason: She offers common sense.

And so her caveat to her comments speaks volumes. Don’t act on your panic.

Singletary’s advice is suitable not simply for consumers and investors but for anyone in a management position. The uncertainty we are feeling now is palpable. The economy seems in stasis. Job cuts to government employees fuel anxiety. Contracts are not being let. 

Angst is real

Employees in the private sector are looking over their shoulders. Am I next? They wonder.

No one—certainly not this leadership correspondent—knows what is coming next, but one thing I do know is that what will steady us now and enable us to meet the challenges of the future will be remembered. How leaders respond to the unease of those they lead now will be remembered. So, having lived through more than a few economic uncertainties, let me offer a few tips.

Take the temperature. What are people saying about the situation? 

Listen to your team. It’s easy to listen to what is said out loud, but it’s tough to decipher what is not said. When fear takes hold, people shut down. Read the room. Ask open-ended questions. Reveal what you are feeling. Make it safe for people to speak up.

Recognize their efforts. Compliment the team on what they have accomplished to date and can achieve in the future. 

Connect with your team

Will these steps—collectively or individually—improve the situation? No. Your leadership actions will demonstrate that you care, that you understand the issues and challenges, and that you know how they feel.

Decades ago, I witnessed an example of reassurance from a VP executive whose company was about to be purchased by a larger entity. It was a surprise move, and everyone seemed on edge except the VP. Straight out, he told employees that he did not know what would come next, but he did offer one assurance. He told the managers in the room to invite him to their regular staff meetings. He would listen and take questions. In short, he would be present.

Be accessible

Tough times are terrible to endure. For leaders, they have an opportunity to show their mettle for the benefit of those they serve. We cannot control the situation around us, only how we react to it. “When you have peace in yourself and accept, then you are calm enough to do something,” wrote the Vietnamese monk and poet Thich Nhat Hanh, “but if you are carried by despair, there is no hope.” In short, face the situation with a sense of calm and resolve to help yourself and your team persevere.

First posted on Forbes.com 3.22.2025

In a recent interview, Will Packer, a successful film producer, told Ayesha Roscoe, host of NPR’s Weekend Edition Sunday, that “healthy arrogance” can be a demonstration that you have something to offer. 

“Healthy arrogance is a supreme confidence that you walk into a room and it doesn’t matter how successful, powerful or important the people are in that room,” says Packer. “You realize that no one in that room is more important or more deserving of success than you. And not only do you belong in that room, but you have something to add to that room and that room is better because you’re in it and you can bring everybody in that room up typically by getting them to see the commonality and the values and the goals that you’re trying to attain.” Packer explores these ideas in his new book, Who Better Than You? The Art of Healthy Arrogance & Dreaming Big.

Packer’s comments are one of the best and most succinct definitions of a leader’s role and responsibilities. Packer is Black, and he knows the feeling that so many minorities and women feel in such situations. While some organizations may tolerate this sense of unbelonging, successful leaders do not let it prevent them from pursuing their goals. Such leaders believe in themselves and in what they can do. 

A key phrase in politics today is “performative,” that is, doing something for the show because it will seem good rather than acting upon on your convictions. Leadership, however, is an act because it is about working with others and—here’s the difference—for the benefit of others. Leaders show that they are working, as Packer said, for the common good. 

How to act the part

Leaders, as Packer stated, must own the stage and deliver on it. Here are some suggestions.

Know what you stand for, your purpose, and how you can apply it to your work. 

Believe in your abilities. Understand that you have skills that can be applied to the job. Show folks what you can do.

Find a common cause. The heart of leadership is bringing people together for a collective purpose. Explain the cause so it is crystal clear and viscerally understood.

Work the plan. Apply your abilities to help the team achieve the goals through their efforts. Celebrate their efforts and keep working.

Keep doing it

Knowing oneself, projecting confidence, building community and working together is essential. They are part of the leadership equation that must be worked on every day, letting the people you lead know what you stand for and what you are doing to benefit the organization.

Anne Chow, former CEO of AT&T Business and author of Lead Bigger, told me in an interview, “Because you want to perform better as an individual, as a leader, as a team, and you want to have a bigger impact. All of us, to some level, want to work on meaningful things and so we want to help people.” The common good becomes a rallying cry if you are willing to put your leadership act on the line.

“Confidence is a muscle and that you build it with success,” says Packer. “You build it over time after you work it just like any other muscle that you might have.” When a leader’s confidence is applied to achieving a goal with others on the team it is a positive force for good.

“I define stupidity as behaving in a way that ignores the question: What would happen next? If somebody comes up to you and says, ‘I think I’m going to take a hike in a lightning storm with a copper antenna on my head,’ stupidity replies, ‘That sounds like a really great idea!’

That’s one level of stupidity –personal recklessness. David Brooks argues further in the following sentence of his New York Times column. “Stupidity is the tendency to take actions that hurt you and the people around you.” And that is where stupidity can be dangerous.

Brooks – a conservative and author of books on the human condition — is careful to delineate stupidity from intelligence. He quotes the Italian historian Carlo Cipolla who wrote, “The probability that a certain person be stupid is independent of any other characteristic of that person.”

Wider Application

While this op-ed critiques recent actions in the Trump administration, it has a wider application to leadership in general. How often do we make decisions without considering the consequences?

Risk is essential to growing a business. While there is good reason to “stick to your knitting,” it can – pardon the pun – hem you in so you do not look for new opportunities. And that’s where a consideration of stupidity is essential.

So, how can we guard against being stupid? (In the interest of honesty, I ask myself this question weekly, okay, daily.)

Lessons to learn

Prepare yourself and your team. Keep abreast of issues. The status quo only provides “status” for the quo in the know. Look out the window at what is happening outside of your organization. What are the factors affecting your performance? How can you capitalize on opportunities?

Seek alternative points of view. A danger that all organizations face is “group think.” We all think a certain way, so we are “certain” of the outcomes. Myopia thrives where dissent is negated or crushed.

Think consequences. Solicit answers to: what happens next? Consider the cost of inaction versus the price of action. What will the benefits be in the short term and long term? Ask people on your time to “red-team” (that is, be contrarian) assumptions and the plans they are based on.

Guard against certainty. “The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance,” wrote historian Daniel J. Boorstin. “It is the illusion of knowledge.” Remember that plans seldom go as planned, even when you know the answers. They go awry for various reasons, including false assumptions, poor execution, and unexpected events. While you cannot prepare for the unknown, you prepare for unplanned outcomes. Being humble in what you think you know is essential.

A key theme in Brooks’ op-ed is that acting with stupidity is being stupid; you are only hurting yourself and everything you are trying to do. Such fallibility is undoubtedly part of the human condition, but so too is thinking ahead, preparing for what’s next, and keeping your antennae tuned for variations and reverses that could scuttle your project.

First posted on Forbes.com on 02.00.2025 

Let me give you some advice, the political consultant told Joe Scarborough when he was running for a seat in the U.S. House of Representatives. Don’t speak when you enter the room. Listen. And when you leave, people will say, “What a smart young man.” Scarborough served four terms in the House and later became the host of Morning Joe, where he told this story. 

One of Scarborough’s guests, Congressman Tom Suozzi of New York, said that listening to people will give you the confidence you need because you will know the issues and how your constituents feel about them. This is sound advice for not just politicians but anyone in a leadership position. Listen, learn and demonstrate that you know what you are talking about.

Show respect

Listening to someone is a sign of respect. As an executive coach, I have worked with many very effective leaders who suffer from the malady of falling in love with the sound of their own voice. They would rather speak first, last and always. This habit is fatal if you want to build consensus. Sure, you can get compliance because people don’t want to buck the boss. They will, however, withhold their commitment. 

I have seen leaders at town halls or factory floors do what the consultant advised. Listen to what people are saying. Some leaders fear that if thorny issues are raised that cannot be solved, they will look bad. This thought is short-sighted. If an employee raises a tough issue, consider what they are experiencing. They and their colleagues are bearing the brunt of a bad situation. It is the least the leader can do, but give them time to speak. 

Wise leaders will also ask them to propose solutions, and in some cases, those solutions can be acted upon with alacrity—and even better, implemented by the very people who suggested them.

Summarize What’s Been Said

One more bit of advice comes from a story of a reporter friend of mine who attended a listening session with then-Governor Bill Clinton, who was touring the country informally testing the waters for a possible presidential run. My friend told me that Clinton asked questions and listened carefully, and then he did something that amazed my friend. After the session, Clinton went around the room, pointing at each person who had spoken and summed up their comments. That’s a listener. And a communicator who knows how to get others to listen to him.

Again, as a coach, I have asked leaders to practice summarizing the key points of a meeting. This practice assures people that you have listened to and know the issues. 

Make Yourself Heard

You can employ this technique as someone other than the leader. If you feel your voice is not being heard, feel free to insert yourself into the conversation by commenting on the points others have made and then adding your own perspective. When you speak up, you demonstrate that you are part of the team and have your contributions to make.

Listening leads to understanding, which can, in turn, lead to great self-confidence and lay the foundation for people’s confidence in you.

First posted on Forbes.com 1.08.2025

A friend of mine, a retired surgeon, recently told me that when he was a resident, a senior surgeon told the surgeons in training, “There is virtually nothing you can get into that I cannot get you out of.”

This advice was not a recipe for recklessness but rather an acknowledgment that the surgeons needed to make their own decisions, learning as they went. And if a mistake did occur, the senior surgeon could come to the rescue. Such an approach assured the younger surgeons that they needed to learn the practice of surgery with real-time lessons.

 Merit support

Digging deeper into the statement of getting someone out of trouble, we see a statement of support. It means, “I have your back.” When a subordinate knows that his boss is supporting him, he can act with a sense of autonomy. This support is not a permission slip to act without responsibility. Instead, it says, “I know you can do the job.”

Mistakes will be made. That is how we learn, and unless a manager gives an employee the space to learn – often by trial and error – little will be gained. The employees will fail to grow because they cannot make and execute decisions accordingly.

Supportive learning

“Nine tenths of education is encouragement,” wrote philosopher Anatole France. Melding the learning with support for the pupil requires experience and good practice. Here are some suggestions.

Ensure competence. Training provides the outline of a given task. It is up to the employee to demonstrate that they can put their lessons into practice. Shadowing – having a veteran supervise a task – can enable the employee to learn on the job.

Create boundaries. Limiting what can be done and how it is done is acceptable. Such boundaries ensure that the employees know what they should be doing, and performance standards ensure best practices.

Coach always. Beginners make mistakes. Turn those missteps into lessons. One way is to debrief the exercise, allowing the employee to explain their point of view first. The manager listens and comments by asking questions about what could have been done better. Finally, the manager must close with his question: What will you do the next time? The answer will deter a readiness to continue learning.

Be vigilant

Only some people merit such support. Managers must assess each employee’s capabilities and limitations. Some must be kept on a short leash, while others can be given more autonomy.

The learning process helps the individual, the team, and the organization grow. Newly trained employees bring their skills and perspectives to the job. This way, the organization grows holistically, harmonizing new learnings into a stronger, more adaptable culture.

First posted on SmartBrief.com 8.14.2024

Golf is a mixture of heart and heartburn.

As such, it lends itself to a medium that offers both—poetry. My new book of poems, Golf Lessons: Chips, Chunks and Cheers, is a labor of love. The poems reflect my love of a game that has given me decades of challenge and enjoyment. The collection explores the lure of the game that goes hand-in-hand with its fiendish demands.

Here is an excerpt from “Tee to Green,” the opening poem.

Three feet away.

A gimme, the pros might say.

But when you’re like me, a recreational golfer…

there’s no such thing as a gimme.

And sure enough,

as I bring my putter back and stroke it true,

I watch my putt edge, edge, edge away from the cup.

Darn, I forgot to read the break.

Golf Lessons is a celebration of friendship that fosters companionship and collegiality. Here is an excerpt from “Old Golfers.”

We are not old, we say aloud to each other.

Laughing as we approach the first tee.

Our knees may ache, shoulders, too.

Our hips may sport titanium.

We are golfers through and through.

Our backswings are shorter now.

  Permitting us to stripe the fairway.

Occasionally.

Around the greens, we have the knowledge,

But not the touch.

Our putter may betray us.

Long. Short. Wide.

No matter. It is not the game that matters.

It’s the chatter.

And while the clatter-popping of worn joints may slow us

We stay together.

We are not so old, we say aloud.

While the game does not always love me back, it keeps me coming back because I am drawn to its complexity and simplicity. You need to think your way around a course while keeping your head about you.

Humor is an essential part of Golf Lessons. The poem “The Shank-o-patomus” looks at the struggle players endure when their shots do not go where they aim, a common occurrence. Here is an excerpt:

Until the Shank-o-potamus is tamed,

Its ravenous appetite only grows,

Swallowing not only wedges,

But 9-irons, 8-irons and even 5-irons.

Residing anywhere and everywhere

The Shank-o-potamus waits only the right moment

To skitter balls away without mercy.

In truth,

The Shank-o-potomus dwells not

In forests, ponds and bunkers,

But rather within the five-inch space between our ears.

When I am playing the course alone, I pull out my phone and snap pictures. I thought it only fitting to include a selection of these images—fairways, greens, and nature itself—flowers and fauna.

Golf Lessons is a collection of poetry that captures the spirit of the game and the sense of camaraderie it inspires. So, let me leave you with the final poem in the book, “The Golfer’s Prayer.”

Oh, Lord

Let my drives be straight and true

(And stay out of the woods, the water, and the bunker.)

Let my long iron shots rise up and stay on the fairway

(And not be fat, thin or in-between.)

Let my pitch shots arc joyfully and plop softly on the green

(And not be chunked, scorched or flown away.)

If I should end in a bunker, let my sand shot be a save to the hole

(And not require a second or third attempt, or wildly veer toward my playing partner.)

And finally, let my putts ride the break into the hole

(And not short, long, or curve waywardly.)

Now, if none of my prayer be heard,

Let me retire cheerily with my pals to the nearest bar

To raise a glass to

Next time!

First posted on Smartbrief.com 3.05.2025

P“You’re semi-retired,” my wife said to me two years ago.

Hmm. I was not as busy with work as I typically was, but I did not think I was “retired.” I was plenty busy with work I wanted and volunteer projects I enjoyed.

Upon reflection, however, I realized—duh, me, we’ve been married for 45 years—that my spouse was correct. I am semi-retired, and I now embrace it.

The challenge for anyone in my stage, or any stage of life, is to move ahead with purpose and that often means redefining it. In my work with executives retiring I cite the advice that my friend, the eminent executive coach and author Marshall Goldsmith, gives to those pondering retirement: Have a plan.

Plan your new purpose

The key to planning is knowing your purpose. When you are actively building your career, your purpose is more evident. It should be reflected in what you do and how you help your team succeed. But when you transition to retirement, then what?

Military personnel experience this when they transition from service. The intensity of their commitment to colleagues, cohorts and country will never be as strongly felt as when they wore the uniform. They must find a new purpose, and it is not often easy. Such unease accounts for the difficulty veterans have in finding a role that suits their commitment to service in the civilian sector.

For the rest of us, we too must dig deep, though it need not be as difficult. Designer Ayse Birsel, author of Design the Long Life You Love, advises finding purpose in what makes you happy and fulfilled. Columnist Steve Lopez, author of Independence Day: What I Learned about Retirement from Some Who Did and Some Who Never Will, says your purpose need not be grandiose. Some folks can find purpose in taking their dog for a walk.

Theresa Amabile, an emerita professor at Harvard Business School and author of Retiring, says that transitional retirement can be an option. I am pursuing that avenue in my state of “semi-ness.”

My pursuits

My purpose now may be defined as the pursuit of passion. Pursuing a passion for me means four things: piano, poetry, podcasting and prosperity. Let’s take them one at a time.

Piano gives me a way to share my avocation, chiefly in retirement homes and hospitals. (After all, I am told that’s where all the talent agents congregate.) I recently joined a band comprised of women and men my age. We have a ball playing everything from rock to jazz, pop to classical, as well as compositions by members of the band.

Poetry is a new pursuit for me. I have been writing verse—free, mind you—for a few years now, and I have incorporated it into a few of my books. My style is observational, looking at life and what it offers me and people my age. (No surprise there.)

Podcasting, the buzzword of the 2020s, is a passion project. Since the start of this decade, I have interviewed more than 250 thought leaders and doers from the worlds of academia, business, journalism, and the arts. My guests are mostly authors who are promoting their most recent books, and we get together for good conversation that shines a light on their work and their message.

My final pursuit is prosperity—not in terms of wealth but rather a sense of joy and fulfillment. I play golf, do photography, get together with friends, spend time with grandsons, travel with my wife, and so on.

These are my pursuits, and I share them to let you know there is life after work. The point is to plan for it, practice it, and pursue it.

Happy Trails!

First posted on Smartbrief.com 2.025.2025

Purpose is a huge topic within the human development community. It has spawned countless books—including one by this author—and many, many conferences. Most examinations of the topic focus on how to find purpose and what you can do to develop it.

Purpose is a huge topic within the human development community. It has spawned countless books—including one by this author—and many, many conferences. Most examinations of the topic focus on how to find purpose and what you can do to develop it.

So, it was with great interest that I came across a new book, Thieves of Purpose: Overcoming the 12 Mindsets Robbing You of Your Potential. Author Davin Salvagno, a fellow member of 100 Coaches, focuses on what holds us back from finding our purpose and explores ways to identify and address these shortcomings.

Identifying the obstacles

The first obstacle, as Salvagno writes, is “Perhaps the most relentless thief is comparison. I have not met a person on the planet who doesn’t compare themselves to others, and for good reason, we live in a society that perpetuates comparison at every turn. From social media and magazines to commercial ads and perhaps even the car sitting in your neighbor’s driveway, it is almost impossible not to find a potential trigger of comparison in front of our eyes.” 

When we do not achieve our intentions and lack purpose, we can make excuses. “We all want to win. Winning inspires us, and losing shapes us, but responding defines us,” writes Salvagno. How many learning moments and purpose points have we missed in our lives because our natural response was to make an excuse or to blame others?” Excuses drain us of our energy to focus on what is important.

Resilience is essential to living one’s purpose. “Every leader faces challenges—missed opportunities, unexpected disruptions, moments of doubt… It’s about how you recover, adapt, and keep playing,” writes keynote speaker and pianist, Freddie Ravel. “The best leaders, like the best musicians, know that resilience isn’t about perfection—it’s about adjusting and finding a new groove when things don’t go as planned.”

 Fortunately for readers, Salvagno includes tactics to overcome what can rob us of our purpose. Let me cite two examples among many.

 One is to “Review how you spend your time and energy and what you are focused on most of the time.” Consider how important your energy expenditures are and whether they take time away from what is more important.

 Two, “What problems are you solving or what difference are you making in the work that you do?” Write the impact that your problem-solving efforts had on others and yourself. Was this effort worth it?

Success vs. Significance

Purpose can fuel the quest for success. In a recent interview, Salvagno said, “Everyone wants to be successful, and there’s nothing wrong with success. However, our fixation upon success can rob us of significance. And significance is where purpose actually lives.” 

Citing the book Halftimeby Bob Buford, Salvagno notes, “Really the difference between success and significance is your impact on others. There are a lot of highly successful people who have amassed great fortunes. They’ve done lots of great things for themselves, but they’re extremely unfulfilled” because their positive effect on others is lacking.”

Purpose is about finding meaning and achieving it by what you do and how you do it. What you do is important to achievement. How you do it is essential to others. Melding your purpose with making a positive difference in the lives of others is essential to living a life of significance.

Addressing the obstacles holding us back is never easy, but when you do it with a mindset of learning, you take the onus off what it means to succeed and put it on what it means to grow and develop as a better human being.

So, it was with great interest that I came across a new book, Thieves of Purpose: Overcoming the 12 Mindsets Robbing You of Your Potential. Author Davin Salvagno, a fellow member of 100 Coaches, focuses on what holds us back from finding our purpose and explores ways to identify and address these shortcomings.

Identifying the obstacles

The first obstacle, as Salvagno writes, is ” Perhaps the most relentless thief is comparison. I have not met a person on the planet who doesn’t compare themselves to others, and for good reason, we live in a society that perpetuates comparison at every turn. From social media and magazines to commercial ads and perhaps even the car sitting in your neighbor’s driveway, it is almost impossible not to find a potential trigger of comparison in front of our eyes.”

When we do not achieve our intentions and lack purpose, we can make excuses. “We all want to win. Winning inspires us, and losing shapes us, but responding defines us,” writes Salvagno. How many learning moments and purpose points have we missed in our lives because our natural response was to make an excuse or to blame others?” Excuses drain us of our 

energy to focus on what is important.

Another obstacle to fulfilling our purpose is fear. “Fear constricts rather than expands who we are. Fear tells us not to smile at strangers or speak our opinions too loudly,” writes Salvagno. “Instead of pushing our boundaries, fear encourages us to avoid any potential failure or rejection. For example, we should not write that book, ask for that date, or apply for that promotion. If it were up to fear, we would hide in bed instead of growing into who we could be.”

Fortunately for readers, Salvagno includes tactics to overcome what can rob us of our purpose. Let me cite two examples among many.

One is to “Review how you spend your time and energy and what you are focused on most of the time.” Consider how important your energy expenditures are and whether they take time away from what is more important.

Two, “What problems are you solving or what difference are you making in the work that you do?” Write the impact that your problem-solving efforts had on others and yourself. Was this effort worth it?

Success vs. Significance

Purpose can fuel the quest for success. In a recent interview, Salvagno said, “Everyone wants to be successful, and there’s nothing wrong with success. However, our fixation upon success can rob us of significance. And significance is where purpose actually lives.” 

Citing the book Halftimeby Bob Buford, Salvagno notes, “Really the difference between success and significance is your impact on others. There are a lot of highly successful people who have amassed great fortunes. They’ve done lots of great things for themselves, but they’re extremely unfulfilled” because their positive effect on others is lacking.”

In a closing thought to our interview, Salvagno says, “Many times we look at failure and then we live in guilt and all these different things, and then it robs us for a purpose. But when we redefine failures as learning moments and we give ourselves grace, we can step forward.”

Addressing the obstacles holding us back is never easy, but when you do it with a mindset of learning, you take the onus off what it means to succeed and put it on what it means to grow and develop as a better human being.

Note: Check here to catch my full LinkedIn Live interview with Davin Salvagno.

First posted on Forbes.com 2.13.2025

Imagine if you were taking a music lesson and then taking that lesson with you to work—to ask for a raise.

Well, that’s precisely what happened to one student whose teacher had studied with Noa Kageyama, a performance psychologist. “I remember working with a teacher.. [about] how to get centered or how to get it to a better headspace, right before performing a piece,” Kageyama told me recently. The teacher passed along this lesson to one of her students. The student applied this lesson at work when she asked for a raise and got it. 

Noa’s Journey

Kageyama, who teaches at Julliard as well as via his online courses, works with students seeking to improve their focus and reduce anxiety. This issue is something Kageyama has first-hand experience. “I started playing the violin at age two and very quickly realized that I experienced, I didn’t have the words for it back then, but I certainly got nervous even at the age of four or five when I was performing in front of crowds of people. And I just thought that was part of the deal and it wasn’t pleasant, it wasn’t fun and sort of sometimes dreaded performing. And that obviously led to my fair share of memory slips and often relatively consistently subpar performances, sometimes relatively catastrophic level performances where I wished I could turn invisible and just disappear and walk off stage and never have to see these people ever again.”

Fortunately, while doing his Master’s at Julliard, he discovered the study of performance psychology. He realized that helping other musicians overcome his obstacles was his true calling, so he got a Ph.D. in this discipline at Indiana University. Kateyama has taught over 8000 students through his various online courses and his work has been featured in major news and trade media.

Avoiding the perfection trap

So often, students and performers alike become trapped by the perfection complex. “We all start to get to a point at some point where we realize that it’s more important to have something to say than to be note perfect or technically exact, because honestly, the level of exactness that I think sometimes we strive for is barely perceptible even to other musicians, sometimes those who play the same instrument, let alone those who don’t play the same instrument, never mind the general audience who’s really just there not for technical perfection, but to enjoy what it is that they’re hearing.” What matters is the music and how the musician makes it become experiential.

Improving Your Own Performance

Praise does help musicians increase their confidence, but it can be a two-sided coin. If the student becomes hooked more on external validation rather than intrinsic, they may not truly develop their musicianship. Instead, says Kateyama, there must be a balance between praise and criticism. Kageyama cites the example of John Wooden, the legendary coach of the UCLA Bruins; during his tenure, the Bruins won ten of 12 NCAA titles. Wooden’s approach was to balance praise with affirmation but spend most of his coaching time on instruction, showing players the right techniques to apply at the right time. Wooden’s approach enabled players to absorb lessons in a non-judgmental way.

Doing the work

Via his Bullet Proof Musician blog, Kateyama explores topics of resilience, courage and confident – all topics that can help students mold a mindset. Setbacks are a constant for many musicians, as well as the rest of us. Kateyama writes, “See if you can embrace this as an opportunity to practice the skill of responding to setbacks. Take a moment to remind yourself that everyone who is at a higher level now, was once upon a time, in your shoes too.” Learning from others who have experienced similar setbacks may “not only raises your self-esteem, but makes for more hopeful and optimistic practice, too.”

Applying the lessons of practicing music can help non-musicians. Kateyama shares a conversation he had with a sales executive who, though very successful, was experiencing “a lot of discomfort in certain aspects of sales, certain kinds of clients, certain types of engagements.” Such discomfort is common to musicians learning new pieces, practicing their repertoire, or performing in public. Kateyama suggested that the executive do what musicians do: record themselves. For example, a salesperson could record themselves practicing a sales call, dealing with a touch customer, or explaining an issue to their boss. By studying how they speak, they can evaluate their performance, much as a musician listens to recordings of themselves.

Overcoming anxiety during the performance is an issue not just for musicians but for anyone who must perform, either on stage, giving a presentation or gearing up to meet a tight deadline. Learning to focus on and bring your skills to the forefront is essential. Technique plays a role, but confidence does too. Earning confidence comes from doing a good job, and knowing that you can continue to do it at a level that delivers positive results is essential.

Click here to view my full LinkedIn Live interview with Noa Kateyama

First posted on Forbes.com 2.04.2025

FA reporter arranges for an interview with Armando Iannucci, the noted creator of such shows as Veep and movies like The Death of Stalin. In his darkly comic work, characters are willfully mean to one another. The reporter is Nancy Updike, and her interview will be for a show she edits This American Life. She is a big fan of Iannucci’s work and is eager to conduct the interview.

Just as Nancy meets Iannucci, she suffers a nosebleed—a real gusher. Off she goes to the bathroom. Nancy recalls one female character in an Iannucci movie suffering bleeding teeth, a source of mockery for other characters.

Iannucci may spin stories of spiteful people, but Iannucci the person is different. As Nancy says, “I walked out of the bathroom, not even sure the interview was still possible. So much time had been lost. And [Iannucci] said, with perfect grace, ‘I’m not in a rush.’” The interview will go on, and Iannucci will make extra time for it.

As someone who has experienced nosebleeds, including just before going on stage to speak, I know the sheer embarrassment of the moment. Your sense of dignity is floating out of your nose. You want to speak, but you need to tend to your nose first. All of us have been in these kinds of situations where we want to make a good impression, but circumstances get in the way.

This story got me thinking about how often, in our moments of weakness or embarrassment—when we believe we will be met with hostility—we encounter grace and understanding. When you are on the receiving end, the sense of mortification melts away, and relief floods in. Our sympathies lie with the sufferer, but how often, when we encounter someone having a moment of discomfort, we fall back on our own sense of self-importance?

Put Yourself Second

Our intention is not cruelty; our lack of intention is the problem. After all, we are busy people, and busy people cannot be bothered by other people’s problems. So, what can we do to ensure that our intentions outshine our lack of them? Here are some suggestions.

Be present. Know what is happening at the moment. Read the expressions of those you are with. Believe it or not, you may not be the most important person in their lives, even if you are their boss. Make eye contact. Smile, if appropriate. 

Be empathetic. Slow down. Listen to what others are saying. Do not leap to conclusions, like, “I’ve heard this before.” Express sympathy by asking how they are feeling and coping in the moment. 

Be compassionate. Ask what you can do to help. Sometimes, the only thing to do is to listen. Other times, you can help them solve a problem or contribute. Be there for them by listening and acting when necessary.

All of these actions are easy to say but often hard to implement. This is not because we are self-absorbed but because the pace of our lives pushes and pulls us, and so we do not always act with the best of intentions.

Acting with kindness

There is a story I have told a few times, maybe even on stage – when my nose was not bleeding. It involves Winston Churchill, who at times could be very brusque and unchivalrous, meeting James Allan Ward, a New Zealand airman who had risked his life climbing out of the bomber to extinguish a fire in one of the engines of his Wellington bomber. Ward’s bravery earned him the Victoria Cross, Britain’s highest award for valor. His bravery, however, did not shield him from a bad case of nerves as Churchill approached him. “You must feel very humble and awkward in my presence.” Ward said, “Yes, sir.” Churchill, a combat vet, responded warmly, “Then you can imagine how humble and awkward I feel in yours.”

First posted on Forbes.com on 1.22.2025