Ritual! It’s a word that we are familiar with but seldom take the time to define. To many, a ritual is a habit, something we do regularly, like exercising, meditating, or attending a concert. Regularity may be inherent, but rituals carry more significance.
“Ritual is a way of making invisible things visible,” says Casper ter Kuile. “I mean feelings like gratitude, hope and awe. It’s about embodying them —attaching a feeling to a practice.”
Ter Kuile, author of The Power of Ritual, told Lauren Jackson of the New York Times, that “Rituals often do three things. One, they tell a story. For example, religious rituals retell a mythic narrative, like the Exodus story for Passover and the Last Supper for the Eucharist. They embody stories that our ancestors wanted us to remember. Two, they can help with transitions — birth, death, marriage, divorce. Three, they change us in some way. They do so by interrupting us, whether from our incessant drive to productivity, or from the monotony of February.”
“Rituals are important for our mental and physical health,” says Ter Kuile. Participating in an activity, like singing, can lower cortisol levels and reduce stress. In turn, the ritual can improve how we feel about others and ourselves.
Creating a ritual
How to create a ritual? According to ter Kuile, you consider what you want to do, how it affects you, and its impact on others. That said, rituals may be private activities for one’s own benefit, or they can be communal for the enrichment of all.
When selecting a ritual, think about what it means to you.
- Does it remind you of what you hold significant in your life?
- Does it resonate with memories in childhood or later?
- How does it make you feel when you engage in the ritual?
- How does it make you feel when you do not engage in the ritual?
- Is the ritual something you want to teach to others – friends, family or children?
On a personal note
Rituals have played a role in my life. For twenty-five years, I was a season ticket holder for Michigan football games. I enjoyed watching the game itself, yes, but more often I enjoyed getting together with friends at halftime and afterwards. These days I find ritual as a member of a band where most of us are north of 70. We practice weekly and have fun making music together. We have learned to listen to one another.
In both instances, the rituals involved participation in a shared experience. Our reactions to what we had seen (the game) or heard (the music) deepened the experience with appreciation and joy.
Rituals are a matter of choice, but having them can be fulfilling. They add significance to our dailiness and depth to what we hold dear.


