“Gratitude is like cholera.”
Gets your attention, doesn’t it? It’s the opening line from “Be More Grateful” chapter in Chris Lowney’s newest book, Make Today Matter: 10 Habits for a Better Life (and World).
“Both are highly contagious, potent and spread person to person,” Lowney writes. “But their cholera induces death, gratitude induces happiness.” A former Jesuit seminarian turned investment banker, Lowney knows something about disease having lived abroad including some of the poorest parts of the world.
It was in his corporate career, however, that one lesson in gratitude resonates. It was an email from his boss thanking him for the good work he had done on a project. Lowney confesses he read and re-read that email multiple times throughout the year; it always gave him the get-up-and-go he needed, especially when confronting obstacles – human and otherwise.
Gratitude, as a topic, is au courant. You will find it embedded in self-help books, plastered on posters, and tweeted throughout cyberspace. And rightly so! Gratitude is the grease that makes working with others easier; it dampens the sparks that occur when co-workers rub each other the wrong way.
Gratitude comes in two parts: external and internal. Let’s take external because I think it is the easier of the two to master. Why? Because it is action oriented. We counsel those in authority to make certain to thank those who report to them.
That simple recognition can take the form of a year-end bonus (which is what Lowney also received with his thank you note) or a simple email. More importantly gratitude you show to others must be sincere. It would be tempting to say “from the heart,” but since management structures are “heartless,” the challenge is to keep affirmation real.
Settle for a direct and frank appreciation. Make it known how much you value an individual’s contributions. Be as specific as possible. Delineate what the individual has done to receive a thank you and tell him or her how much their work is appreciated. Simple words certainly, but they go a long way. All of us cherish moments of authentic recognition.
The second part of gratitude may be trickier to master because it deals with our inner selves. We humans are adept at fooling ourselves. We can go through the motions like circus acrobats, hurling through life without seeming to miss a step or a hand-off. When in reality we are missing everything. Why? We have deadened ourselves to the joy that comes from recognizing ourselves as people who belong to other people – at work, at home, in our community.
Gratitude then is the recognition that you have something to offer the world and the world has something to offer you. Lowney quotes Cicero, the great Roman orator, who wrote, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of all virtues, but the parent of all.”
The old Roman, who gave his life for the Republic, was right. If you cannot feel gratitude, you cannot feel and if you cannot sense then you cannot exert courage, demonstrate integrity, or show love. For one simple reason, you lack the capacity to care. Gratitude, by contrast, is that capacity to care.
Reframing our lives with a sense of gratitude because with an acknowledgment of self. That you have something to offer and you can deliver. From that recognition comes the thanks you need to be grateful – for who you are and what you have.
“Make gratitude your attitude” may look good plastered on a poster or sent via Twitter but it’s not enough to say it, you need to live it – outside and inside!
