John Baldoni's Blog

Like many I became annoyed and disgusted with the erosion of our social discourse. It became acceptable – at least on the surface – to utter vile, even racist chants in public, all in the name of reclaiming what the chanters have believed was taken from them by folks – you guessed – different from themselves.

So, if there was ever a time for grace, it is now. Grace is the catalyst for acting upon the better angels of our nature. And it has multiple dimensions.

Connection – what we seek from each other

Be available. That is the secret to leading. The other day, I learned of a new head of an organization who sent out an initial email to his organization saying they would be seeing a lot of him. He made himself visible at various levels of the organization. He spent time listening and learning. In fact, one of the core messages contained in Michael Watkins’s The First 90 Days is to spend time learning before you start executing.

Yes, it takes time, but it does work. People notice when the CEO of an organization makes an effort to visit their workplace. The best executives do not spend their visiting hours giving presentations; they ask questions, not as “prosecuting attorneys” but as fellow employees who want to know more. They are making strong connections.

Candor – honesty without sugarcoating

So many successful executives attribute part of their success to the proverbial “two-by-four” they received as rising managers. These individuals had plenty going for them as contributors; they were well-educated and possessed significant business acumen to help them succeed. What they lacked was an understanding of people. Often, this was due to being thrust into an early management role without proper training. As a result, they sought to do everything, including telling everyone else what they needed to do.

Fortunately for them and their eventual career, a savvy boss pulled them aside and delivered feedback that landed right between the eyes. The boss complimented them on their technical abilities but then lowered the boom, “Unless you stop treating people the way you are treating them now, your future here will be limited. The smart ones got the message and mended their ways – with the help of others, maybe even a coach or two. Had they not received such candid feedback, their careers would have been akin to life in the Middle Ages – “nasty, brutish and short.”

Courage – speaking truth to power and standing by what you said

Warren Bennis, one-time university president and noted leadership author, wrote in the Harvard Business Review that most successful executives he knew had experienced a “crucible moment.” For Bennis, it came early. He was a 19-year second lieutenant who was thrown into the Battle of the Bulge as a replacement troop. Bennis credits his sergeant with showing him the ropes and saving his life. 

Courage often requires sacrifice. It can take real guts to know when to step down. One such executive was John Riccardo, CEO of Chrysler (now Stellantis). In 1978, he recruited Lee Iacocca to replace him. “John was sacrificing himself to save the company,” Iacocca wrote in his autobiography. “[Riccardo] was over his head and he knew it. He blew himself out of the water to bring Chrysler back to life.” It was an act that to Iacocca made Riccardo “a real hero.” Riccardo had what it took to put the future of the company ahead of himself. 

Commitment – making the promise and working to fulfill it

When Alan Mulally was selected as CEO of the Ford Motor Company in 2006, the once-vaunted automaker was facing severe financial difficulties. Mulally faced reality by getting his team to focus on the issues and commit to work to fix them. One way he did this was by convening weekly meetings of his direct reports (Business Plan Reviews) where heads of various functions would report on the status of their projects. Attendees used color codes: green (all good), yellow (having difficulties), or red (in trouble). At first, the executives — afraid of getting themselves sideways with their new boss — reported all green. In short order, understanding that Mulally was not out for scalps, they came to realize that accurate reporting was necessary for the company’s survival. 

Mulally also insisted that the executives collaborate across functions and work together to solve problems. The process worked, and Ford was restored to fiscal health. In time, Fortune magazine named Mulally the third-best executive in the world – right behind Pope Francis.

Compassion – putting empathy into action

When Harry Kraemer, Jr. stepped down as CEO of Baxter, the dean of the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern solicited him to return to his alma mater and teach. While teaching as a practice professor, Kraemer encountered a former student who planned to use his MBA to bring management expertise to impoverished farmers in Kenya. The young man called his effort the One Acre Fund. Kraemer pitched in to help, dedicating his energy and philanthropy to the fund.

Cheerleader – buck up others as you would like to be bucked up yourself.

When I was an executive coach, I made sure to compliment those I coached for the good work they were doing. It takes a degree of courage to lay yourself out to a stranger. I was careful always to be candid, sharing feedback from my colleagues and adding my perspective. Since that was sometimes tough, I made sure to compliment them when things went well. We need affirmation, especially when we are undergoing self-development efforts. It was heartening to see how much clients would perk up when receiving these verbal pats on the back.

Community – connecting one-to-one to learn, share, grow and build together

What connection – nurtured by candor, courage, commitment and cheerleading – creates is a sense of community. All of us want to belong to something greater than ourselves; we want to contribute to big goals, and we want to feel that what we do matters. Amy Edmondson, an author and professor at the Harvard Business School, pioneered the concept of “psychological safety.” Safety comes from the sense of belonging, the feeling that I can speak up and be heard. It’s easy to say but not always practiced.

The key to community is to make sure that people are heard, even when they disagree with you. Vibrant communities brook dissent over specific ideas. What keeps them from splintering is a commitment to shared values – individuals working collectively for the common good.

That’s where the community comes in; people want to belong. They embody the spirit of volunteers, as they are not working solely for money but to make a positive difference for their colleagues, customers, and communities.

Community outside of work

Community can occur at work, yes, but these attributes of grace also work in our personal lives. To gain a sense of how I will return to the example of Alan Mulally. Since he retired from Ford in 2014, he has been teaching organizations how to bring people together for a common cause to achieve agreed-upon goals. 

One of Alan’s core beliefs is the concept of love, a value he learned from his mother, who preached it and embodied it for her son and her family. It was further nurtured by Frances Hesselbein, a former CEO of the Girl Scouts, with whom Alan got to know well. Frances believed that “to serve is to live.”

Alan’s philosophy of “Working Together” is grounded in a sense of alignment with the concept that “life’s work of service is our love made visible.” As such, the sense of service extends not only to what we do at work but also to how we live our lives in the community with our family and ourselves. Such a connection opens the door to learning more or leaning on the spiritual side of life.

In short, grace is the catalyst for the greater good, greater connection, and greater kinship. And so, let me close with a poem on the power of grace.

Think with grace./Put thoughts of others first.

Patience in being and doing.

See with grace./Look for ways to help.

Do not wait to be asked.

Listen with grace./Let other voices be heard.

Wait your turn to speak.

Hear with grace./Pay attention to what is said.

And what it is not.

Speak with grace./Welcome others.

Use that to affirm others.

Charm with grace./Put people at ease.

Smile. Speak. Laugh.

Lead with grace./Turn I into we.

Them into us.

Honor grace.

See. Listen. Hear./Speak. Charm. Lead.

Think. Always.

Grace. Forever. 

And always.

First posted on SmartBrief/Leadership 9.04.2025

Commencement addresses are an annual exercise in inspiring the next generation to believe in themselves and to create their own future. Of the many addresses I have heard recently, one line stuck with me.

Watch your own game films!

A.J. Brown stated this advice in an address to 2025 graduates of the University of Mississippi. Brown, an Ole Miss grad, is an all-star receiver with the Super Bowl Champion Philadelphia Eagles. As a football player, he spent a lifetime watching films of himself. His point was that watching yourself is not an ego trip; it’s an avenue to self-awareness. Something, as he noted, that is vital to anyone in leadership.

Brown’s point was to take stock of yourself as a means of understanding what you have done and what you might do better the next time. When players watch the films, they receive critiques of what they did and what they missed.

While few of us want to have our work put on film – or video – there is an alternative. Enlist the help of a peer coach, someone to serve as your spotter, who will watch you at work and regularly debrief you on what they observe.

Peer Coaching

Peer coaching is an exercise in trust. It is based on honest feedback. Here’s a framework to consider utilizing.

Select. Your peer can be a friend, but one who is willing to give you the straight dope on your actions and behaviors.

Observe. Watch how you interact with others. Keep an eye out for what others say about you to your face and behind your back.

Debrief. This step is the tough part. Your peer should discuss what you have done well as well as where you could improve. 

Selection, observation and debriefing are form the basics of peer coaching. What peer coaching can do is enable you to see yourself as others see you. It is natural for us to overlook some of our shortcomings because we perceive them as insignificant. 

Discover what you are missing.

For example, busy executives feeling the pressure of the moment will often jump in and finish the sentences of their direct reports. First off, this behavior is rude. Second, the executive’s closing may not be accurate. Third, and most importantly, behavior such as this will cause others to shut down. They will not bother to comment, which leaves the executive uninformed and essentially flying blind about the issue facing his team.

All too often, executives remain unaware of this bad habit, leaving them in the dark about it. A peer coach can point out what the executive is doing and point out the harmful side effects. 

Peer coaching can serve as a mirror to your behavior. Consider it the management equivalent of a game film, which reveals how others perceive you. Even better, this coaching enables you to take stock of yourself, make adjustments, and, in the process, become more attentive to how you connect with others.

First posted on Forbes.com 7.14.2025

Slump!

One of the words that bedevils teams at every level, but particularly in professional baseball, is in part because the season is so long.

Players experience them individually. Teams go through them collectively.

There’s an old saying that says baseball is like life, only more so. And that’s why watching how teams cohere, compete to win, and continue to persevere through the highs and the lows of the season makes it so instructive. And often it’s when times are most challenging that the best lessons emerge.

Slump in D-town

Take the Detroit Tigers. After a surprising finish last season, which saw them make it to the Division playoffs, the Tigers maintained their pace, posting the best record in Major League Baseball until just before and after All-Star Game when they went won one game in  13 tries.

What can be done? Evan Petzold, beat writer for the Detroit Free Press, did an extended interview with manager A.J. Hinch. His answers will reflect his long career in the game, as a World Series-winning manager with the Houston Astros, a catcher, and, yes, a psychology major at Stanford.

Face reality

Facing reality does not mean accepting it. “You can write a laundry list of things when teams aren’t going well about what’s going wrong.” Knowing what’s wrong does not mean you can fix it right away.

“It’s hard enough to press the reset button after a good time, where you win a series… The morale is good, but it’s tough on these guys.”

Competition is not going to make recovery from a slump easy. “Baseball is going to push back a little bit and make you play the next day and the next day and the next day.” No teams “we play [are] going to feel sorry for us. We’ve got to play better.”

Hinch likes what he sees in his players. “We’re not pouting and sulking… There’s a ton of togetherness. There’s a ton of guys trying to find solutions.” He adds something that every manager in any endeavor says: that it’s not effort, it’s “execution.” And that is hard.

Lessons to learn

All of us face slumps, times when no matter how hard we try, we cannot seem to make a difference. And so, when that happens, it is essential, as Hinch reveals, to take stock of who you are, what you can do, and what you need to do to improve and make changes when possible. Above all, you need to believe in yourself. Losing confidence erodes your ability to bounce back.

Hinch himself is no stranger to adversity. After winning the World Series with the Astros, he was suspended for one year for not doing enough to prevent his players from using video technology to steal signs from opposing teams. While he disapproved of what his players were doing, he accepted the consequences. “Because wrong is wrong, and it was very wrong, and I’ll make sure that everyone knows that I feel responsible. Because I was the manager and it was on my watch, and I’ll never forget it.” That mindset no doubt gives Hinch a perspective on resilience that is essential for leading through tough times.

As a fan, I hold out hope that the Tigers will regain their poise and continue on their winning ways. As a student of leadership, I am sure that the lessons managers like A.J. Hinch share will be valuable to anyone in management.

After all, Hinch believes in his players. “We’re trying to keep our chins up, keep our chest out and realize we’re still a first-place team. We’re one good win away from potentially taking off again.”

First posted on Forbes.com 7.27.2025

Duck and cover. / So many of a certain age remember.

There was even a cartoon depicting Bert the Turtle our mascot for safety.

The enemy lurked a continent away

But we were told that Red Starred bombers could reach us

Even at school.

Years later we could laugh that

Ducking under desks and covering our heads would protect us.

Now, we no longer laugh. / Because the enemy does not lurk a continent away.

They do not put red stars on their hats. / Rather they clothe themselves in protective gear.

That can stop a bullet, and also locks in their ghoulish fixation with guns and

high-velocity bullets that can render human flesh Into hamburger.

Troubled and distant, they live amongst us / Shielded from human touch, their armor does that.

They use their munitions to lash out / At children – our grandchildren – in their schools.

And just as hiding under desks could not protect us / From a foreign foe.

No desk can protect our kids / From a metallic hail of rage and hate.

Nor us from the pain, the loss and the sorrow. / From which there is no place to duck or cover.

Parents and teachers — and docs and cops, too — cry out.

In vain. / Nothing to be done, our Elected say.

It’s the law, you see.

Duck and cover. Once more.

One of the reasons negotiations grind to a halt is that one party is playing “the heavy” and the other party seems at a loss as to how to deal with the situation. In in those moments of hesitation, the heavy gets what they want and the acquiescent party gets little.

It does not have to be this way.

When dealing with “a heavy,” it is important to identify the type of person you are dealing with. That is, “knowing what he’ll do to perpetuate his efforts,” writes globally-recognized negotiation expert Dr. Greg Williams.

“This identification process is paramount to the strategies you’ll create to combat him. As part of the identification process, you must be attentive to what he says, the words he uses to make his pronouncements. That means you have to listen intently and not be thinking of the rebuttals you’ll offer while he’s speaking.” [Disclaimer: Dr. Williams is a member of 100 Coaches of which I am also a member.]

Steps toward negotiating

When dealing with someone who likes to play “the heavy,” it is important to identify the type of person you are dealing with. That is, “knowing what he’ll do to perpetuate his efforts,” writes globally-recognized negotiation expert Dr. Greg Williams. [Disclaimer: Dr. Williams is a member of 100 Coaches of which I am also a member.]

“This identification process is paramount to the strategies you’ll create to combat him. As part of the identification process, you must be attentive to what he says, the words he uses to make his pronouncements. That means you have to listen intently and not be thinking of the rebuttals you’ll offer while he’s speaking.”

Understand your outcome. Knowing what you want to accomplish before you begin negotiating is essential. Keep it front and center as you converse.

Do your homework. Find out as much as you can about the person with whom you will be negotiating. Ask questions of people who know them or have dealt with them previously. Read up on tactics they may employ against you.

Role play. Stage a give-and-take session with your team members. Consider it practice before the game. Ask others to ask you tough questions, even if it means being insulted. 

Stay calm. Do not rise to the bait. Take a deep breath and stay focused on the outcome. “Be vigilant of nonverbal cues,” advises Dr. Williams. “Nod to display agreement, maintain an open stance to convey approachability, and mirror the opposition’s positive gestures. Always give attention to the body language negotiators exhibit, and align your gestures to increase rapport and trust.”

Seek common ground. Look past the taunts to find common ground. Express your desire to find solutions that benefit both parties (or all parties). Be the voice of reason. “Use interest-based negotiation techniques, such as asking open-ended questions to uncover underlying interests and exploring multiple options before settling on one,” says Dr. Williams. “To do this more effectively, seek to expose the ‘why’ the other party pursues the outcome they are after. Propose solutions that address all parties’ core needs, emphasizing collaboration over competition.”

Remain open to discussion. Know when to end a negotiating session, but make it clear that you want to continue exploring ways to work together.

One more thing

There is another solution. Silence. Too often, we become so enamored of our position that we exaggerate it, sometimes to the point of overstatement. Learn the art of the pause. You do not have to keep talking. Silence can be a stealth weapon in your arsenal. Coupling calmness with resolute silence can be masterful.

Negotiating with someone who is trying to provoke you is their tactic. It does not have to be yours. Learn how to keep your cool.

First posted on Forbes.com 6.01.2025

Your ideas aren’t big enough!

That was said to me by an event planner who had hired me for a small conference but did not think I was ready for the bigger stage. Since the audience was in the finance sector, I took no offense. She was looking for a speaker who could address pressing issues related to strategy, scaling and sales—all great topics but not within my bailiwick.

The planner’s comment, however, gets to the heart of why so many people feel that their ideas are not worthy of a wider audience. Some colleagues who are embarking on writing a book sometimes wonder if their ideas are original enough. I always assure them that originality is laudable, but it is not the be-all and end-all.

Some perspective

My ideas, both published and spoken, focus on what’s often referred to – sometimes dismissively – as the “soft stuff” – the caring, commitment, and compassion we extend to others. For me, those ideas are plenty of “big.” At the same time, there is nothing original. Management authority and prolific author Tom Peters has written, “My life in six words: Hard is soft. Soft is hard.” Peters means that managing the human side of the business is often harder than managing the “quant” side of the business. After all, what’s more important than taking care of your people?

Why you?

So, how can you differentiate your ideas from others? Specifically, what gives you the authority to write and speak about your chosen topic? It comes down to integrity, integration and presentation.

Integrity is the foundation of your public self. It is a combination of your education, experience, perspective and accomplishments. What can you share with others that will help them address their issues? For example, if you are an entrepreneur, what can people learn from your experience? Or, if you are an executive coach, what insights into human behavior will enable your audience to gain greater awareness?

Integration is your source material. What research do you cite? Did you do the research yourself, or are you pulling it from recognized sources, e.g., academic or professional? (Always add citations to your work.)

Presentations are where you pitch your ideas. If you are writing an article or a book, do you tell stories? Do you use illustrations and graphics? Do you weave in data points? What you do matters and will give your ideas a lift, a professional sheen.

The same goes for live presentations. Consider your stage presence. How do you take the stage, making eye contact and leveraging the energy in the room? Do you ask questions of your audience? Will you engage in question-and-answer sessions after your presentations?

Connecting more fully

When you write and present, you share yourself with others. Physician-philosopher Albert Schweitzer wrote, “Man can no longer live for himself alone. We must realize that all life is valuable and that we are united to all life. From this knowledge comes our spiritual relationship with the universe.” Your thoughts, ideas and works enable you to connect more fully with others.

Knowing your material and presenting it in ways that leverage your experience makes your ideas big enough to make a positive difference in the lives of readers and audiences alike.

First posted on 6.04.2025

Sometimes, the best way to learn about someone is to stay silent.

 This is a method that Pulitzer Prize-winning writer Hilton Als applied when he wrote a story for The New Yorker on the musician Prince. Rather than sit down and pepper the star with questions – a technique that many journalists use – Als slipped backstage and was waved in by the star himself. Als sat back and watched how Prince “brightened” when he interacted with fellow musicians Maceo and Larry Graham. As Als told Tanya Mosley on Fresh Air, “And then I understood that I had stayed and been allowed to stay, and it was very interesting.”

 After the show, Als slipped away, and in the nick of time, an assistant to Prince flagged him down, saying that Prince would like to meet with him again. Later, Prince offered Als the opportunity to collaborate on his memoir. Als declined that offer because it would have been a conflict of interest with The New Yorker. But Als is something more valuable – trust. Prince, says Als, “heard the silence. And in hearing the silence, he was able to speak to me.”

 Practicing silence

“The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear,” said the Persian poet Rumi. Silence is a wonderful practice when it comes to making a connection and, over time, gaining an individual’s trust.

 There are ways to cultivate silence. Als begins his mornings by listening to nature and avoiding human chatter. Nature is a great stimulus for practicing silence if you take the time to be mindful of the situation.

 For example, be present in the moment. Watch what is occurring around you – birds in flight, sometimes chattering. Listen to the breeze ripple through leaves, bathing the area in a cocoon of whooshing.

 If you cannot experience nature directly, apply your mindful spirit to what is happening around you. You can remain silent in a busy location. You may hear snatches of conversation mixed with sounds of traffic or wailing police sirens. Just listen.

You can also listen to the silence in your home. Sit in a comfortable chair, close your eyes and pick up sounds—or lack of them—all around you.

In our rush-rush world filled with barrages of sounds – some loud as sirens, another simple clattering of keys on the keyboard, silence can be at a premium. But sound should not interfere with our intention of listening. Frances Bacon posited that “Silence is the sleep that nourishes wisdom.” Silence, therefore, opens the door to learning.

 Silence in verse

Silence, because it can help us look inward, naturally lends itself to poetry.

The absence of sound.

Sterile, cold, silent.

But.

There is sound.

A bird chirping.

Crickets chorusing.

Voices muffling.

Cars whooshing.

Silent, no. Quiet, yes.

Quietude.

There is warmth in its embrace.

If we listen.

Silence is everywhere. If we only listen.

First posted on Smartbrief.com 05.08.2025

Sometimes, when you tell a big story, you start with a small one.

That’s the approach that author Michael Lewis takes as editor of Who Is Government. As Lewis writes, “There is the stereotype of the ‘government worker.” We all have in our heads this intractable picture: The nine-to-fiver living off the taxpayer who adds no value and has no energy and somehow still subverts the public will.” 

Lewis has gathered fellow writers to tell the stories of women and men who work in the federal government. “The PR wing of the federal government isn’t really allowed to play offense, just a grinding prevent defense,” writes Lewis. “And the sort of people who become civil servants – the characters profiled in this book – tend not to want or seek attention.” 

The stories contained are inspiring because they laud the expertise of these employees and underscore the commitment they have to our nation. Without exaggeration, they are soldiers on the home front working to serve and protect our natural resources, our food supply, our healthcare system, our research sciences, and so much more. [Lewis’s earlier book, The Fifth Risk, similarly addressed this topic.]

The stories

Among the stories that resonate are ones that no one would ever know about unless one went looking—as Lewis and the contributors did.

“The Canary” profiles Christopher Mark, who pioneered a way to prevent mine roof collapses, the largest killer of miners. Mark, who once worked as a coal miner in his youth, went on to get a Ph.D. in engineering and wrote his thesis on ways to prevent mine roof collapses. His work has resulted in minimizing such collapses and saving many lives.

“The Sentinel” features Roland E. Waters of the National Cemetery Administration (NCA). “Perhaps the most striking thing about Ron Waters,” writes Casey Cep, “His agency is one of the world’s experts on death, but he is an expert on how to live.” One aspect of what his agency does is repatriate the remains of service personnel who died overseas, something in which it takes pride. More broadly, these cemeteries “are designed to stir our moral imagination… on behalf, though not always, on behalf of our highest ideals.” The effort the agency expends gained them the highest customer satisfaction scores of any organization, as ranked by the University of Michigan’s study. On a 100-point scale, Costco scored 85, Apple 83 and Facebook 69. The average score for federal agencies is 68. NCA scored 97.

“The Equalizer” tells the story of Pamela Wright of the National Archives. A native Montanan, Wright administers the Archives, which manages the documents the government generates, including presidential records, historical documents, and Census Data. It also innovates. It was Wright who oversaw the development of a digital reference platform, the History Hub.

The agency also “physically” cares for the U.S. Constitution. All employees take an oath to that Constitution. As Wright told contributor Sarah Vowell, “That oath makes you realize that what you are doing is fundamentally important to the country, no matter what capacity you are in.”

More stories

Other stories include ones about a team of men and women working at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Lab looking for signs of extra-terrestrial life; another about an FDA epidemiologist who founded CURE ID, a database for registering case histories of rare diseases that in turn can generate pathways to cures; and an IRS director working to detect cases of cyber fraud – an effort that actually generates income from “criminal settlements.”

The return

Streamlining government is a worthy goal. We all have been bedeviled at times by bureaucratic snafus (and snares), and so improvement is necessary. Yet, as with change, we say change is good as long as I don’t have to change myself. The same is true for the government. 

Now, with the government under siege by cost-cutting measures that to some seem arbitrary and, in some cases, cruel, this book stands as a testament to those who represent the best of us. 

First posted on Forbes.com 4.26.2025

How would you tell the story of your parents and your early upbringing?

Well, that’s a question that Ron Howard and brother Clint Howard tackle in The Boys because both of the boys grew up on television—not watching it—but starring in programs that dominated the ratings in pre-streaming days. Ron, then Ronny, played Opie Taylor in the long-running Andy Griffith Show. Clint starred in Gentle Ben as the boy who had befriended a bear.

Later, Ron traded television—after starring in Happy Days—for filmmaking, a life-long passion. Clint continued in his career, becoming a rarity: a child star who matriculated into an adult actor, playing hundreds of character roles. Both were the sons of Jean and Rance Howards, both Oklahoma-born actors who migrated first to New York and later to Los Angeles.

Four Lessons

Without giving away key parts of the story, I will focus on four aspects of the book that resonated with me from a leadership angle.

The first lesson is craft. Rance Howard did not push either of his boys into acting; he opened the door for them, and each flourished in his own way. Since Ronny and Clint were acting before they could read, it fell to Rance to help them interpret their lines and get to the story’s truth. A technique that both mastered and Rance, in turn, shared with other child actors  — and adults, too — as a dialogue coach on many films and television shows, often when he had a small acting role himself.

The second lesson is persistence. Rance never made the big time, but he was a working actor his entire life. His work ethic as one seeking work and also writing screenplays provided an example for both boys. Although Ron succeeded as an actor, his true passion was film, and like any budding filmmaker, he had to go through hoops to succeed. Clint, too, persisted as a character, persevering through personal crises to continue working.

The third is lesson is brotherhood. Ron and Clint take turns telling their boyhood stories and their experiences. What comes through loudly and clearly, however, is the respect that each has for the other. Ron is five years Clint’s senior, a positive in that he broke ground that his little brother could use to his advantage. Clint had struggles with substance abuse, but neither brother gave up on himself or their relationship. Because Ron had married and lived on the East Coast, Clint became closer to his father after his mother died. The two continued running lines for acting roles right up to the final weeks of Rance’s death.

The fourth lesson is collaboration. Andy Griffith was a movie star turned television icon when he created the Andy Griffith Show. The fictional town of Mayberry was a nostalgic look at Andy’s own hometown, Mount Airy, North Carolina. The collaborative ethos on the set buttressed the community created on television. The Andy that Ron describes was kind, gracious and diligent. Andy worked as hard as anyone to make the show true to character and set an example through his work ethic. It was a family show that ran like a family in the sense that people pulled their weight for themselves and others.

The Final Cut

Given that The Boys is a memoir, some of the remembrances—although researched—may be biased. Not that there are dark sides not explored, but that what Ron and Clint remembered may not be the whole story. Not because they are hiding anything, but because they are telling their own story from their own point of view. “Memory is the diary we all carry within us,” wrote Oscar Wilde.

The Boys is more than a warm-hearted story. It’s an inside look at how to survive in a business that could be cruel without succumbing to it, but instead by maintaining a positive attitude through hardship and success.

First posted on Forbes.com on 3.01.2025

War is a writer’s medium.

Even in the age of instant imaging, the lasting expressions of war are those expressed by soldiers who have lived the experience. One of them is Bill Glose, poet-editor-author. Glose served in the Gulf War and is the son of a Vietnam War fighter pilot. His perspective is that of one who was in the war and knew first-hand the toll that war exacts upon loved ones waiting for their return. His experience is instructive for anyone in management who is exploring what it means to be aware of self and others you lead.

In an essay for The War Horse, Glose writes, “When I came back from Iraq, I carried with me the images of landscapes littered with ruined bodies. To deal with the stew of emotions roiling inside, I emulated my father, who never spoke about his experiences in Vietnam. Stoicism was his fortress. It became mine, too.”

“Silence,” as Glose writes, “had served as a tolerable stopgap when action ruled my world. But once I left the Army, I had too much free time to think. I’d seen reports about the high rate of veteran suicides—22 per day. I hadn’t considered taking my own life, but I often got angry at simple things, exploding in violent outbursts.” So, at the urging of a friend who was a poet, Bill began putting his war experiences into poetry.

Getting to the heart of the matter

Glose’s poetry, as seen in his second collection, Half a Man, has an immediacy that cuts to the quick. Glose shared with me in a recent interview that poetry is an ideal medium for expressing what soldiers are experiencing. “There are certain things you can do with poetry that you can’t do with prose. You can explore the emotional impact of issues instead of trying to pull the issues apart; you can focus on sensory details and visual imagery instead of having to give exact descriptions and fill in all the context. Essays and articles always seek to explain the why behind something. But ambiguity is fine in a poem. It allows you to explore painful subjects and ask questions you want to avoid without needing an answer.”

Glose continues, “Specifically regarding war, poetry, writing, poems about your war experience can be picking away a scab. It can hurt at first, but each time you rip it off, the scab shrinks a little bit, the pain diminishes, and then the skin beneath grows healthier. So it can be like a type of self-therapy, a way to face your traumatic experiences instead of burying them away.”

State of Fear: There and Here

In 2022, Glose recently published his first work of fiction, All the Ruined Men, as a means of widening his lens on the war experience. “Poetry is great for exploring these tiny moments, but I wanted to look at the lives of soldiers completely. I wanted to see what it was like for them before and during war and then mostly afterwards how the war had changed them.”

“Many books are written about the horrors of war,” says Glose. “I wanted to write about how difficult it can be to come home afterwards. So that’s what All the Ruined Men is about. It follows a single squad of paratroopers in the 82nd Airborne after they’ve served in numerous combat tours and now they’re coming back home and trying to adjust to civilian life. And they each have a difficult time of it.”

So often, as we discuss soldiers in combat zones, we overlook the toil it takes on their families. “Just like the soldiers are in a state of fear. Their families are in a state of fear, too. You don’t know exactly what’s going on over there. And anytime you hear about any action that happened, you always fear that your loved one was involved. And then, when they come home, it’s strange getting to know them again because they have changed so much. But the families, they’ve changed as well through this process of fear.”

 Helping Those Who Have Served

Civilians have images of war gleaned from what they see on television or read in books, but unless you have experienced war first-hand, it is wholly foreign. And some struggle to connect or re-connect with family members and friends who have served. Glose has some advice. “If you don’t know how to begin a conversation, ask them about some hijinks they used to get into. Ask [about] some funny story that you and your buddies got in trouble for. What’s something really stupid that you did?” Prompting with those kinds of light-hearted questions may get the veteran laughing. “That opens up that door to talk about more serious things.”

Glose is sometimes asked if reading or knowing about books depicting war will re-traumatize soldiers. “My thought is the same thing as how I changed my approach for my father. Nothing ever gets better by ignoring it. Sharing these stories, letting them know they’re not alone. I think that’s a fantastic thing to do.”

War changes everything, especially those who fight it. Writers who have served may be called to find the truth of the experience. In their doing, we learn of war’s terrible lessons as well as its life-altering power. Writers like Bill Glose shape their experiences into poems and stories that illuminate the human condition, a valuable lesson for anyone in leadership.

For my LinkedIn Live interview with Bill Glose, click here.

First posted on Forbes.com 12.00.2024