Month: April 2025

A friend of mine, a retired surgeon, recently told me that when he was a resident, a senior surgeon told the surgeons in training, “There is virtually nothing you can get into that I cannot get you out of.”

This advice was not a recipe for recklessness but rather an acknowledgment that the surgeons needed to make their own decisions, learning as they went. And if a mistake did occur, the senior surgeon could come to the rescue. Such an approach assured the younger surgeons that they needed to learn the practice of surgery with real-time lessons.

 Merit support

Digging deeper into the statement of getting someone out of trouble, we see a statement of support. It means, “I have your back.” When a subordinate knows that his boss is supporting him, he can act with a sense of autonomy. This support is not a permission slip to act without responsibility. Instead, it says, “I know you can do the job.”

Mistakes will be made. That is how we learn, and unless a manager gives an employee the space to learn – often by trial and error – little will be gained. The employees will fail to grow because they cannot make and execute decisions accordingly.

Supportive learning

“Nine tenths of education is encouragement,” wrote philosopher Anatole France. Melding the learning with support for the pupil requires experience and good practice. Here are some suggestions.

Ensure competence. Training provides the outline of a given task. It is up to the employee to demonstrate that they can put their lessons into practice. Shadowing – having a veteran supervise a task – can enable the employee to learn on the job.

Create boundaries. Limiting what can be done and how it is done is acceptable. Such boundaries ensure that the employees know what they should be doing, and performance standards ensure best practices.

Coach always. Beginners make mistakes. Turn those missteps into lessons. One way is to debrief the exercise, allowing the employee to explain their point of view first. The manager listens and comments by asking questions about what could have been done better. Finally, the manager must close with his question: What will you do the next time? The answer will deter a readiness to continue learning.

Be vigilant

Only some people merit such support. Managers must assess each employee’s capabilities and limitations. Some must be kept on a short leash, while others can be given more autonomy.

The learning process helps the individual, the team, and the organization grow. Newly trained employees bring their skills and perspectives to the job. This way, the organization grows holistically, harmonizing new learnings into a stronger, more adaptable culture.

First posted on SmartBrief.com 8.14.2024

Golf is a mixture of heart and heartburn.

As such, it lends itself to a medium that offers both—poetry. My new book of poems, Golf Lessons: Chips, Chunks and Cheers, is a labor of love. The poems reflect my love of a game that has given me decades of challenge and enjoyment. The collection explores the lure of the game that goes hand-in-hand with its fiendish demands.

Here is an excerpt from “Tee to Green,” the opening poem.

Three feet away.

A gimme, the pros might say.

But when you’re like me, a recreational golfer…

there’s no such thing as a gimme.

And sure enough,

as I bring my putter back and stroke it true,

I watch my putt edge, edge, edge away from the cup.

Darn, I forgot to read the break.

Golf Lessons is a celebration of friendship that fosters companionship and collegiality. Here is an excerpt from “Old Golfers.”

We are not old, we say aloud to each other.

Laughing as we approach the first tee.

Our knees may ache, shoulders, too.

Our hips may sport titanium.

We are golfers through and through.

Our backswings are shorter now.

  Permitting us to stripe the fairway.

Occasionally.

Around the greens, we have the knowledge,

But not the touch.

Our putter may betray us.

Long. Short. Wide.

No matter. It is not the game that matters.

It’s the chatter.

And while the clatter-popping of worn joints may slow us

We stay together.

We are not so old, we say aloud.

While the game does not always love me back, it keeps me coming back because I am drawn to its complexity and simplicity. You need to think your way around a course while keeping your head about you.

Humor is an essential part of Golf Lessons. The poem “The Shank-o-patomus” looks at the struggle players endure when their shots do not go where they aim, a common occurrence. Here is an excerpt:

Until the Shank-o-potamus is tamed,

Its ravenous appetite only grows,

Swallowing not only wedges,

But 9-irons, 8-irons and even 5-irons.

Residing anywhere and everywhere

The Shank-o-potamus waits only the right moment

To skitter balls away without mercy.

In truth,

The Shank-o-potomus dwells not

In forests, ponds and bunkers,

But rather within the five-inch space between our ears.

When I am playing the course alone, I pull out my phone and snap pictures. I thought it only fitting to include a selection of these images—fairways, greens, and nature itself—flowers and fauna.

Golf Lessons is a collection of poetry that captures the spirit of the game and the sense of camaraderie it inspires. So, let me leave you with the final poem in the book, “The Golfer’s Prayer.”

Oh, Lord

Let my drives be straight and true

(And stay out of the woods, the water, and the bunker.)

Let my long iron shots rise up and stay on the fairway

(And not be fat, thin or in-between.)

Let my pitch shots arc joyfully and plop softly on the green

(And not be chunked, scorched or flown away.)

If I should end in a bunker, let my sand shot be a save to the hole

(And not require a second or third attempt, or wildly veer toward my playing partner.)

And finally, let my putts ride the break into the hole

(And not short, long, or curve waywardly.)

Now, if none of my prayer be heard,

Let me retire cheerily with my pals to the nearest bar

To raise a glass to

Next time!

First posted on Smartbrief.com 3.05.2025

P“You’re semi-retired,” my wife said to me two years ago.

Hmm. I was not as busy with work as I typically was, but I did not think I was “retired.” I was plenty busy with work I wanted and volunteer projects I enjoyed.

Upon reflection, however, I realized—duh, me, we’ve been married for 45 years—that my spouse was correct. I am semi-retired, and I now embrace it.

The challenge for anyone in my stage, or any stage of life, is to move ahead with purpose and that often means redefining it. In my work with executives retiring I cite the advice that my friend, the eminent executive coach and author Marshall Goldsmith, gives to those pondering retirement: Have a plan.

Plan your new purpose

The key to planning is knowing your purpose. When you are actively building your career, your purpose is more evident. It should be reflected in what you do and how you help your team succeed. But when you transition to retirement, then what?

Military personnel experience this when they transition from service. The intensity of their commitment to colleagues, cohorts and country will never be as strongly felt as when they wore the uniform. They must find a new purpose, and it is not often easy. Such unease accounts for the difficulty veterans have in finding a role that suits their commitment to service in the civilian sector.

For the rest of us, we too must dig deep, though it need not be as difficult. Designer Ayse Birsel, author of Design the Long Life You Love, advises finding purpose in what makes you happy and fulfilled. Columnist Steve Lopez, author of Independence Day: What I Learned about Retirement from Some Who Did and Some Who Never Will, says your purpose need not be grandiose. Some folks can find purpose in taking their dog for a walk.

Theresa Amabile, an emerita professor at Harvard Business School and author of Retiring, says that transitional retirement can be an option. I am pursuing that avenue in my state of “semi-ness.”

My pursuits

My purpose now may be defined as the pursuit of passion. Pursuing a passion for me means four things: piano, poetry, podcasting and prosperity. Let’s take them one at a time.

Piano gives me a way to share my avocation, chiefly in retirement homes and hospitals. (After all, I am told that’s where all the talent agents congregate.) I recently joined a band comprised of women and men my age. We have a ball playing everything from rock to jazz, pop to classical, as well as compositions by members of the band.

Poetry is a new pursuit for me. I have been writing verse—free, mind you—for a few years now, and I have incorporated it into a few of my books. My style is observational, looking at life and what it offers me and people my age. (No surprise there.)

Podcasting, the buzzword of the 2020s, is a passion project. Since the start of this decade, I have interviewed more than 250 thought leaders and doers from the worlds of academia, business, journalism, and the arts. My guests are mostly authors who are promoting their most recent books, and we get together for good conversation that shines a light on their work and their message.

My final pursuit is prosperity—not in terms of wealth but rather a sense of joy and fulfillment. I play golf, do photography, get together with friends, spend time with grandsons, travel with my wife, and so on.

These are my pursuits, and I share them to let you know there is life after work. The point is to plan for it, practice it, and pursue it.

Happy Trails!

First posted on Smartbrief.com 2.025.2025

Purpose is a huge topic within the human development community. It has spawned countless books—including one by this author—and many, many conferences. Most examinations of the topic focus on how to find purpose and what you can do to develop it.

Purpose is a huge topic within the human development community. It has spawned countless books—including one by this author—and many, many conferences. Most examinations of the topic focus on how to find purpose and what you can do to develop it.

So, it was with great interest that I came across a new book, Thieves of Purpose: Overcoming the 12 Mindsets Robbing You of Your Potential. Author Davin Salvagno, a fellow member of 100 Coaches, focuses on what holds us back from finding our purpose and explores ways to identify and address these shortcomings.

Identifying the obstacles

The first obstacle, as Salvagno writes, is “Perhaps the most relentless thief is comparison. I have not met a person on the planet who doesn’t compare themselves to others, and for good reason, we live in a society that perpetuates comparison at every turn. From social media and magazines to commercial ads and perhaps even the car sitting in your neighbor’s driveway, it is almost impossible not to find a potential trigger of comparison in front of our eyes.” 

When we do not achieve our intentions and lack purpose, we can make excuses. “We all want to win. Winning inspires us, and losing shapes us, but responding defines us,” writes Salvagno. How many learning moments and purpose points have we missed in our lives because our natural response was to make an excuse or to blame others?” Excuses drain us of our energy to focus on what is important.

Resilience is essential to living one’s purpose. “Every leader faces challenges—missed opportunities, unexpected disruptions, moments of doubt… It’s about how you recover, adapt, and keep playing,” writes keynote speaker and pianist, Freddie Ravel. “The best leaders, like the best musicians, know that resilience isn’t about perfection—it’s about adjusting and finding a new groove when things don’t go as planned.”

 Fortunately for readers, Salvagno includes tactics to overcome what can rob us of our purpose. Let me cite two examples among many.

 One is to “Review how you spend your time and energy and what you are focused on most of the time.” Consider how important your energy expenditures are and whether they take time away from what is more important.

 Two, “What problems are you solving or what difference are you making in the work that you do?” Write the impact that your problem-solving efforts had on others and yourself. Was this effort worth it?

Success vs. Significance

Purpose can fuel the quest for success. In a recent interview, Salvagno said, “Everyone wants to be successful, and there’s nothing wrong with success. However, our fixation upon success can rob us of significance. And significance is where purpose actually lives.” 

Citing the book Halftimeby Bob Buford, Salvagno notes, “Really the difference between success and significance is your impact on others. There are a lot of highly successful people who have amassed great fortunes. They’ve done lots of great things for themselves, but they’re extremely unfulfilled” because their positive effect on others is lacking.”

Purpose is about finding meaning and achieving it by what you do and how you do it. What you do is important to achievement. How you do it is essential to others. Melding your purpose with making a positive difference in the lives of others is essential to living a life of significance.

Addressing the obstacles holding us back is never easy, but when you do it with a mindset of learning, you take the onus off what it means to succeed and put it on what it means to grow and develop as a better human being.

So, it was with great interest that I came across a new book, Thieves of Purpose: Overcoming the 12 Mindsets Robbing You of Your Potential. Author Davin Salvagno, a fellow member of 100 Coaches, focuses on what holds us back from finding our purpose and explores ways to identify and address these shortcomings.

Identifying the obstacles

The first obstacle, as Salvagno writes, is ” Perhaps the most relentless thief is comparison. I have not met a person on the planet who doesn’t compare themselves to others, and for good reason, we live in a society that perpetuates comparison at every turn. From social media and magazines to commercial ads and perhaps even the car sitting in your neighbor’s driveway, it is almost impossible not to find a potential trigger of comparison in front of our eyes.”

When we do not achieve our intentions and lack purpose, we can make excuses. “We all want to win. Winning inspires us, and losing shapes us, but responding defines us,” writes Salvagno. How many learning moments and purpose points have we missed in our lives because our natural response was to make an excuse or to blame others?” Excuses drain us of our 

energy to focus on what is important.

Another obstacle to fulfilling our purpose is fear. “Fear constricts rather than expands who we are. Fear tells us not to smile at strangers or speak our opinions too loudly,” writes Salvagno. “Instead of pushing our boundaries, fear encourages us to avoid any potential failure or rejection. For example, we should not write that book, ask for that date, or apply for that promotion. If it were up to fear, we would hide in bed instead of growing into who we could be.”

Fortunately for readers, Salvagno includes tactics to overcome what can rob us of our purpose. Let me cite two examples among many.

One is to “Review how you spend your time and energy and what you are focused on most of the time.” Consider how important your energy expenditures are and whether they take time away from what is more important.

Two, “What problems are you solving or what difference are you making in the work that you do?” Write the impact that your problem-solving efforts had on others and yourself. Was this effort worth it?

Success vs. Significance

Purpose can fuel the quest for success. In a recent interview, Salvagno said, “Everyone wants to be successful, and there’s nothing wrong with success. However, our fixation upon success can rob us of significance. And significance is where purpose actually lives.” 

Citing the book Halftimeby Bob Buford, Salvagno notes, “Really the difference between success and significance is your impact on others. There are a lot of highly successful people who have amassed great fortunes. They’ve done lots of great things for themselves, but they’re extremely unfulfilled” because their positive effect on others is lacking.”

In a closing thought to our interview, Salvagno says, “Many times we look at failure and then we live in guilt and all these different things, and then it robs us for a purpose. But when we redefine failures as learning moments and we give ourselves grace, we can step forward.”

Addressing the obstacles holding us back is never easy, but when you do it with a mindset of learning, you take the onus off what it means to succeed and put it on what it means to grow and develop as a better human being.

Note: Check here to catch my full LinkedIn Live interview with Davin Salvagno.

First posted on Forbes.com 2.13.2025