Commencement addresses are an annual exercise in inspiring the next generation to believe in themselves and to create their own future. Of the many addresses I have heard recently, one line stuck with me.
Watch your own game films!
A.J. Brown stated this advice in an address to 2025 graduates of the University of Mississippi. Brown, an Ole Miss grad, is an all-star receiver with the Super Bowl Champion Philadelphia Eagles. As a football player, he spent a lifetime watching films of himself. His point was that watching yourself is not an ego trip; it’s an avenue to self-awareness. Something, as he noted, that is vital to anyone in leadership.
Brown’s point was to take stock of yourself as a means of understanding what you have done and what you might do better the next time. When players watch the films, they receive critiques of what they did and what they missed.
While few of us want to have our work put on film – or video – there is an alternative. Enlist the help of a peer coach, someone to serve as your spotter, who will watch you at work and regularly debrief you on what they observe.
Peer Coaching
Peer coaching is an exercise in trust. It is based on honest feedback. Here’s a framework to consider utilizing.
Select. Your peer can be a friend, but one who is willing to give you the straight dope on your actions and behaviors.
Observe. Watch how you interact with others. Keep an eye out for what others say about you to your face and behind your back.
Debrief. This step is the tough part. Your peer should discuss what you have done well as well as where you could improve.
Selection, observation and debriefing are form the basics of peer coaching. What peer coaching can do is enable you to see yourself as others see you. It is natural for us to overlook some of our shortcomings because we perceive them as insignificant.
Discover what you are missing.
For example, busy executives feeling the pressure of the moment will often jump in and finish the sentences of their direct reports. First off, this behavior is rude. Second, the executive’s closing may not be accurate. Third, and most importantly, behavior such as this will cause others to shut down. They will not bother to comment, which leaves the executive uninformed and essentially flying blind about the issue facing his team.
All too often, executives remain unaware of this bad habit, leaving them in the dark about it. A peer coach can point out what the executive is doing and point out the harmful side effects.
Peer coaching can serve as a mirror to your behavior. Consider it the management equivalent of a game film, which reveals how others perceive you. Even better, this coaching enables you to take stock of yourself, make adjustments, and, in the process, become more attentive to how you connect with others.