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Executive coaching is the process of self-discovery. We all can benefit from learning more about ourselves and exploring ways to improve ourselves. An executive coach — one hired from the outside — can be a resource that helps others see themselves more clearly. Additionally, through the process of gaining feedback from colleagues, executives can learn how colleagues see them.

But the question arises: How do I prepare myself to be coached? A new book, Becoming Coachable, by a trio of executive coaches, Jacquelyn Lane, Scott Osman, and Marshall Goldsmith, can provide insight. Think of it this way. If you want to get in shape, you want to ensure that you have the mindset to put yourself through the rigor of physical exercise. Half-measures do not work. It’s the same with coaching.

Getting ready to engage

Executive coaching is not for everyone, but its benefits are plentiful when you prepare to address the obstacles you face and the willingness to address them intentionally. I recently conducted an interview on LinkedIn Live with Jacquelyn and Scott, both of whom lead the 100 Coaches Agency, Jacquelyn as President and Scott as CEO. [Disclaimer: I am a member of 100 Coaches.]

“Since leadership is all about relationships and relationships are complex,” says Jacquelyn, “coaching is really something that helps cut through some of that complexity to allow you to collect feedback from key stakeholders, from all the people that work around with and for you. And that helps you become more self-aware, it helps you understand your blind spots and how to be in better relationship with all those people.” Essentially, coaching can help “transform not only a person’s leadership but also life as a whole.”

Relationships are better understood – and ideally improved – when we know our effect on others. That is why feedback is so critical. “One of the great things about feedback,” says Scott, “if you can change your perspective on what feedback really is and not hear it as criticism, but hear it as the gift that it really is.” Listening to feedback opens the door to what you need to change. That perception “makes feedback a lot easier to handle. It still can be painful, but I think with the perspective of if I know about it, I can change.”

The role of trust

Leadership crumbles when trust erodes. “Trust can be improved by engaging in the coaching process,” says Jacquelyn. “Trust is really built by being consistent in our words and our actions in living our values and having integrity, making sure we follow through on our commitments. And the great news is that a coach is someone who can help you do all of those things better [as well as] help identify some of those places where you may be falling short.”

Trust shows up in how you act as well as how you engage with others. Dr. Jim Kim, a physician and former President of the World Bank, has said that as leaders, “you don’t own your own face.” As Scott says, “Your face, your expressions, your emotions, your attitudes are almost property of the company because they do, they impact so many people.” It sounds harsh, but as Scott explains, leaders are playing a role, one who aspires to help the organization achieve its goals. Realizing it permits a disassociation from one’s ego. “By saying I don’t own my face, it allows me to disconnect from that and recognize that my expressions don’t have to be an expression of me. They need to be an expression of who I am as a leader. And that [notion] is very transformational.”

Coaching as an enabler

Scott likens an excellent coach to the solvent WD-40, “a little bit of grease to help them work through something that they, maybe if they pushed hard enough, they could work through on their own.” The benefit of working with a coach is that it avoids “grinding too many other people’s gears.” Coaching leads to insights that the leader may not have thought possible. Often, such changes occur rapidly within a matter of months. “And once you open up the sense of what’s possible, you can grow into it.”

All of us need an outside voice, or voices, to help us see ourselves more clearly and more honestly. Coaching can be that process of self-discovery that opens the door to greater possibilities for your organization, colleagues, and yourself.

Note: To watch the full LinkedIn Live interview with Jacquelyn Lane and Scott Osman, click here.

First posted on SmartBrief.com 11.07.2023

So you have been asked – or told – to be a mentor. Pat yourself on the back. It is an honor to serve as a mentor. Now, you need to understand what mentoring is and is not. Mentoring is an invitation to provide developmental insights to someone younger than yourself, often but not always. Mentorships require a commitment of time as well as investment in others. As such, it is essential to understand your role.

A new book, The Ultimate Guide to Great Mentorship, by Scott Jeffrey Miller, a long-time executive with Franklin Covey company and now an independent entrepreneur, is a good starting point. As Miller writes in the prologue, this book is for mentors and focuses on responsibilities and roles – 13. [Disclosure: Miller is co-owner of the Gray + Miller talent agency, including a speaker’s bureau where I am listed.]

Multiple roles of mentorship

The roles of a mentor range from validation to challenging to navigating with many types in between. The good thing is that one or more roles can be employed during a mentorship or even a mentoring call.

“Number one is the revealer and number 13 is the closer. Everything else in between can happen in any style, go anywhere, start everywhere,” Miller told me in an interview for LinkedIn Live. The mentor serves as one who can help the mentee uncover their true selves. Asking the right questions is a good starting point. “What is it that the mentee your mentee is trying to accomplish? What are they trying to get done? Do they want to become a podiatrist? Do they want to go to law school? Do they want to become a vice president? Do they want to become a cupcake maker? What’s their plan? Your job is to help them uncover and discern your job is to uncover so that they can discover.”

Building on self-awareness

Choosing your mentorship role depends on your style and how you approach others. “It’s super important for the mentor to understand what it’s like to be mentored by them, to know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of feedback and instruction,” says Miller.

Fundamental to good mentorship is setting boundaries. The mentor should state what they can and won’t do; that is, it can help them learn but won’t help them find a new job, at least at the beginning. It is essential to build trust first. “There’s a difference between mentorship and coaching, mentorship and sponsorship and allyship,” says Miller. “I don’t think they’re the same. They can become the same when the mentee behaves their way into a reputation of being trusted and delivering on commitments.” Furthermore, by setting boundaries, the mentor is “preventing the mentee from being embarrassed or placing [the mentor] in an awkward position where you need to say no.”

Mentors serve as validators, too. At the same time, there are limits to validation, “This role that can be life-changing for someone where you are genuinely, authentically, judiciously validating your mentee’s genius. You slow down, take a pause, you change your voice inflection and your tone.” The conviction in your voice emphasizes the importance you place on your mentee’s plans. “Use it with great caution, and you have the chance to name someone’s genius in them that they never knew existed.”

A favorite role for mentors can be that of the navigator, who is just a step ahead of the mentee because they are learning along with the mentee. “You can ask smart, open-ended questions that will allow your mentee to avoid the potholes that you see right in front of you.” Your sense of curiosity and “a passion to help your mentee, to help them navigate the process.”

Reciprocity is critical

Mentorship is based upon reciprocity. The mentor makes themselves available to help while the mentee makes themselves available to be responsible with the time granted and the knowledge shared with them. Mentors should not aspire to control, nor should mentees feel obliged to follow through on advice given. Both need autonomy to determine the path that benefits them both.

“You don’t have to have all the answers,” says Miller, “you just have to have good questions.” These questions will open doors to a greater understanding of self and growth opportunities.

Note: Here is a link to my entire LinkedIn Live interview with Scott Jeffrey Miller.

First posted on Forbes.com 9.00.2023

Sheila Ford Hamp, principal owner of the Detroit Lions, spoke to Dave Brickett of the Detroit Free Press in October 2021 in the wake of an event honoring Lions Hall of Famer Calvin Johnson, where the fans loudly vented their frustrations with ownership. “Obviously, no one likes to be booed, but I totally understand it… And I’m as frustrated as the fans are and I appreciate their sentiment and hopefully what we’re trying to do here will turn to cheers one day.”

Hamp continued, reflecting her feelings about long-suffering and loyal Lions fans. “We do have fabulous fans as we all know and they’ve stuck with us forever through thick and thin, and a lot of thin. It’s been hard, so I agree. And this year (2021), it’s a rebuild, it’s painful. We knew it was going to be hard, but it’s hard to lose. No one likes to lose. I hate to lose, but we are working on things and I think we’ve got a good path.”

Tell the truth

Two years later, Hamp’s words echo the enthusiasm that Lions fans, just beginning their 66th year without a championship, are feeling now. The Lions started their season against the defending Super Bowl champs, the Kansas City Chiefs. The game marked the official season’s kickoff, indicating that not only fans believe the Honolulu Blue and Silver, but league officials do, too.

And the Lions delivered on the hype, downing the Chiefs 21-20. The game was a see-saw affair, but it is evident as it has been for the past couple of years, this team has no quit. It reflects the hard-nosed approach that head coach Dan Campbell brings to the team. As a former player – and one-time Lion – Campbell understands how to bring out the best in his players and coaches. As general manager, Brad Holmes is in his first job as GM, but he has drafted good players and positioned the team for future success.

How Hamp leads

Hamp, however, has yet to receive her due. Sheila played varsity tennis for Yale, just like her father, William Clay Ford, the long-time owner of the Lions, who passed away in 2014. According to The Athletic, Sheila wanted to work for the NFL when she graduated in 1973, but was denied the opportunity due to her gender.

Hamp is not one to shy from the heat. “I think that would be a stupid thing to do is to hide because I really don’t feel like I need to hide,” she said. “It’s part of what I’m trying to change around here, which is the open, communicative culture and I’m part of it.” And the culture is changing.

After the Lions closed out last season with a win at Lambeau Field over the hated Green Bay Packers, Dan Campbell gave Hamp a big hug and shouted for all to her in the locker room. “I’m just telling you, I’m just freakin’ telling you — I’ve been around as a player and a coach in this league. We’ve got the best owner. Everything you could possibly need, every resource — she thinks about you guys all the time, man, she knows everything about you; she’s rock solid and as good as they come.”

We will know more about the team as the season unfolds, but one thing is sure: Sheila Ford Hamp is playing the proper role – guiding, supporting, leading. “She’s competitive,” added Campbell. “And, boy, she loves to win.” And it will take that kind of competitive drive to push the Lions forward this season and for seasons to come.

First posted on Forbes.com 9.14.2023

The design and delivery of the F-35 Lightning fighter aircraft is one such example. For starters, in addition to Lockheed, the lead contractor, there were two other prime contractors and scores of subcontractors. Multiple nations were involved, and because the fight was paid for with government funding, Congress and the parliaments of countries like the United Kingdom, Netherlands, and Australia, among others, needed to be involved.

Heading it was Tom Burbage, retired President of Lockheed Aircraft Systems and EVP for developing the F-35 and the F-22. He is the co-author of a new book about the project called, F-35: The Inside Story of the Lightning II. 

In a recent interview, Burbage told me that partnering with many parties was like dealing with a Rubik’s Cube. “We had many different interests. We had many different perspectives, many different countries, a huge industrial team, and we had to make all that come together into a pattern that actually worked.”

Ongoing technological advances

Because the F-35 is a next-generation aircraft, Burbage, a former Navy aviator, was heading a team developing new technology never tried before. “I think every program that pushes technical barriers along the way is under threat of being canceled. There’s always another group or another interest community that wants to program to go a different direction or wants to take the budget and do something else with it. So you’re constantly in a little bit of trench warfare as you go through these extensive programs.

Getting the pattern correct was getting people to agree to a joint mission, or as Burbage put it, putting on the Joint Strike Fighter t-shirt. “It was a big, huge team of people, a lot of really good leaders, good strong government program managers, good strong industry side, and people that were willing to sort of take off their company badges and put on their J S F T-shirt,” says Burbage. “We’re no longer trying to husband your company interests. You’re now totally committed to making the J S F program what it needs to be.”

Three-in-one aircraft

The F-35 is three different aircraft. One for the Air Force that uses long runway take-offs. One for the Navy using catapult launching short runways. And the third for the Marines, who needed the aircraft to take off and land vertically. “If I put the three airplanes in front of you… and sat in the cockpit, you wouldn’t know the difference. They’re, they’re identical.” 

The goal was to create a fleet where the planes could fly and fight together regardless of their branch of service. “Integrating those technologies those differences into an airplane that’s supersonic and stealthy” required the team to push the boundaries of physics.

When designing leading-edge technology programs, there are two essential types of individuals. Innovators can integrate new technologies in ways that enable new performance capabilities. You then need leaders who are “really good at managing teams.” As the metaphor goes, everyone has a seat on the bus. The challenge is matching innovators with managers who can cooperate and collaborate for the betterment of the mission.

Culture rules

In the Fort Worth facility alone, there were 4000 employees. “And every new employee that came on the program went through an onboarding process. Everyone got some of that ‘pixie dust’ sprinkled on them” to help them realize they were part of a team, not just the company that hired them. “You have to walk a thin line when you do that,” says Burbage, “because there are company interests that you have to respect.”

The team had to create a culture. “We had a common set of guiding principles. We had a common set of objectives.” Burbage employed what he calls “the best athlete concept.” That is selecting team leaders for their skills and abilities, not simply for the company that employed them.

Three top executives were called “The Wizards,” a nod to the Harry Potter series. “I didn’t want the wizards in their office. I wanted them walking around and mentoring the young folks,” says Burbage. The younger tech-savvy employees ended up “mentoring” their older colleagues. 

In turn, the veteran employees shared their experience and expertise. “It built this esprit d’corps among the team during some very challenging days.” Working on such programs is always demanding, so it was imperative that the culture be rooted in respect for one another, explains Burbage. It helped to drive “superior performance.”

Four leadership principles

Burbage told me that he gave his grandson, a recent graduate of the Naval Academy and now in flight training, some advice. His shared four principles are as relevant to aviators as leaders heading large teams. “The first is that enjoy every day, learn something new,” says Burbage. Challenge yourself to do more than you can because you can. 

“The second [principle] is to realize that every person has a unique perspective on the world. And a new sailor turning a wrench on an airplane or, or a new employee just out of college can be a valuable contributor and you can learn from him or her.” Get to know them. Advocate for them and remove barriers that prevent them from doing their best.

“Third, there’s no limit to what your team can accomplish if you don’t care who gets the credit. You know, give the credit where it’s deserved.”

The fourth principle is to understand the difference between management and leadership. “Management is the ability to look at data” to determine the project’s health. Leaders focus on another kind of health. “Leaders inspire ordinary people to do extraordinary things.”

Getting the F-35 into service required the efforts of thousands of highly trained people and leaders who understood how to balance innovation, management, and budget with a culture that enabled everyone to do their best.

First posted on Forbes.com 00.00.2023

For anyone who thinks – or has been told – they are not good enough to make it in their chosen career, then Leanne Morgan is someone you might want to know more about.

Leanne Morgan is a 57-year-old married mother of three grown children and grandmother of two. She lives in Tennessee and has become one of the most in-demand comedians on the circuit. She tourns nationally and has a new self-produced special on Netflix called I’m Every Woman.

As Tonya Mosely noted in her introduction to her Fresh Air interview, Morgan is not an overnight success. Morgan has been doing comedy for thirty years, starting as a jewelry saleswoman doing three engagements per week in living rooms. After a time, women began booking her for her comedy rather than for jewelry.

Morgan hit the comedy circuit, starting in Austin, Texas, at age 32. She also did four different pilot episodes for television sitcoms. None was picked up that, while disappointing at the time, turned out to be better in the long run. She was able to spend time raising her children and perhaps honed her comedy chops even sharper. 

In 2019 she hired a firm comprised of two brothers who distributed clips of her show via social media. One clip went viral and bookings took off. Morgan continued posting throughout the pandemic. “I just really did what I thought… was authentic.” Her clips addressed caring for her elderly parents and family. “And I had no makeup on. I looked like a picked jaybird.”

Heartland humor

Leanne Morgan is funny. “I’m nurturing,” says Morgan. “If I make fun, it’s of myself, it’s not of anybody else. I’m not confrontational. And so I think people find comfort with me.”

Here she is talking about her marriage. When her husband first met her, he “was so enthralled with me and so in love with me and pursued me and bought me presents and vacuumed out my car… And did all kinds of things for me. And we celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary this year. [PAUSE] And now I truly believe he would not pull me out of a burning vehicle.”

“I praise God Weight Watchers doesn’t have a limit on how many times you can join,” jokes Morgan. “I’ve joined WeightWatchers nine times… And lost seven pounds. Turns out you got to do it… I try to beat the system. And I’m signing up, and I’m paying them. And I’m like, I’m going to beat the man. I’m going to go in here, and they’re not going to keep me in those points.”

Lessons to learn

Those who do not make a living telling jokes in front of a live audience can learn a few things from Leanne Morgan.

Believe in your talent. Morgan calls herself the Mrs. Maisel of Appalachia. “Comedy is a hard business. I resonated with that character because she was fearless and she had those babies and her husband was a ding dong.” Like the fictional Midge Maisel, Leanne battled the odds, especially those telling her that women were not good at comedy. “When I saw that series, I thought, that’s what I did: I had three babies. I was in the Appalachian Mountains. I didn’t have a comedy club near me, and I just had to pave out another way than the traditional way that people do stand-up. And I did.” 

Know your audience. “It took me a long time to find my audience … but I always knew they were out there,” Morgan says. “I think Hollywood forgets us, and I think a lot of comedians that are cool and edgy and all of that, just forget about my demographic and I think we’re the best. I think we’re the people that make decisions to go buy tickets and want to get out and have a good time.”

Trust yourself. Morgan’s first husband, to whom she was married for a short time in her early twenties, told Morgan that she needed to take diction lessons to lose her Tennessee drawl. Her refusal reminded me of an entertainment executive advising comedian legend Bob Newhart to lose his stammer. “This stammer,” replied Newhart, “bought me a house in Beverly Hills.”

Leanne Morgan, like Newhart, knows her talent and herself. “I’m authentic. I feel like at my age now, it’s like this is who I am. You either like it or you don’t. It’s OK if you don’t. … I do find humor in hard things, but I think a lot of comedians do. That’s how we cope.”

First posted on Forbes.com 8.08.2023

Music is the universal language. Or, to be more precise, a universal awakener.

On the passing of Tony Bennett, it is good to remember that he was still performing well into his nineties and after a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s. While his short-term memory was limited or nonexistent, his ability to singhis hit songs, whether in his living room or on stage, remained vibrant. In a recollection by CNN’s Anderson Cooper, who did a profile of Bennett for 60 Minutes, interviewing him was challenging, but when he took to the piano to sing, his personality and energy returned as he performed.

Lifelong pursuit 

Bennett’s roots in music ran deeply. In an interview with Jeffrey Brown on NewsHour in 2014, Bennet spoke about performing for his relatives as a ten-year-old. Having lost his father, Bennett’s family helped nurture his talent, enabling him to pursue his passion for music and painting. 

Bennett served in World War II, saw combat in Europe, and later saw the horrors of Dachau. After getting out of what he and men of his generation called “the service,” he attended art school. He also pursued his passion for painting and, in time, started singing in public. His career was respectable, garnering respect from his contemporaries and elders like Frank Sinatra. 

At age 70, his career seemed stalled. His son, Danny, helped him gain wider recognition in part by recording with women and men a generation or two or three younger than himself. These included Billy Joel, Paul McCartney, Celine Dion, and, most notably, Lady Gaga. As Bennett said on NewsHour, part of his reasoning for working with younger artists was to keep jazz – America’s homegrown music – alive and resonant. Fans of the younger performers embraced Bennett.

Bennett’s passion for music keeps his spirit alive. As Anderson Cooper recalled on CNN, Bennett brought him to tears when he watched him perform in his own living room. Cooper said that he may not have known who Cooper was, but he knew he was Tony Bennett, an artist with something to say. His example has heightened awareness of dementia.

Music as connection

Bennett is one of many musicians whose talent did not diminish with his memory. A few years ago, I was playing piano as a volunteer in a cardiac care center, and an elderly gentleman approached me to tell me that his wife used to play piano; then, he gestured to his head, indicating that her memory was fading. When his wife returned from her visit, I invited her to sit down at the piano and play. Which she did. Masterfully. No sheet music, just channeling the piece from memory. 

When I glanced at her husband, I could see tears forming. He put his hand over his heart and said, “You don’t know how good this makes me feel.” I urged him to continue having his wife play since they still owned her piano. He nodded, and when the woman finished, she rose from the piano bench smiling. Moments later, after I had begun playing again, she approached me and, with a smile, slapped a crisp two-dollar bill on the piano headboard as “my tip.”

Music can reach those with memory loss by enabling them to return a semblance of themselves when they hear music, especially played live. When I ask for requests, I seldom get a response, but when I play a tune, I can see smiles appear, and after every song, there is a smattering of applause. It indicates not my performance (always sorely lacking) but their appreciation for music.

Music speaks to us and maybe even more as we age and our memories dim. Music reminds us of our humanity and our connectedness to the world.

First posted on Forbes.com 7.25.2023

Practice what you preach!

So often, we hear this, but so often, too, we see individuals who can talk the talk but fail to walk the walk. That is why speaking to a senior leader who embodies this dictum was such a pleasure. Even more so, he runs a company based on this mantra. He is Joe Hart, CEO of the Dale Carnegie company, one of the world’s leading training and development firms and based upon the work of the man who became one of the world’s leading authors in what would be known as the “self-help movement.”

Hart, along with co-author Michael Crom (a grandson of Dale Carnegie), explores the ideas of taking control of yourself and your destiny through thought, application, and practice in their new book, Take Command: Find Your Inner Strength, Build Enduring Relationships, and Live the Life You Want.

Course correction

Hart began his career in law and made steady progress but felt something was missing. A Dale Carnegie course changed his life. As he told me in an interview, “It changed the way I saw myself, and it changed the way I saw the people… Dale Carnegie’s principles, I think, are about respecting and appreciating and valuing and listening to other people, which I started to do a lot more.”

Interacting with self

There are three key elements to Take Command. The first is “Take Command of Your Thoughts and Emotions.” “The first step is to pay attention to our thoughts, to notice the things that we think and to notice the things that we feel,” says Hart. From there, it is important to define those feelings and why you have them- self-awareness. “The second step is really about action. This is taking Command. It’s about being intentional.” For some, that might entail “flipping the thought” from negative to positive to seek clarity and possibility.

Courage is essential to taking Command, and as Hart says, it comes from building a sense of self-confidence. He tells a story about a young woman in a Dale Carnegie class who was petrified about presenting in front of an audience. By the end of the course, she was not only proficient in public speaking, she was looking forward to the next challenge.

How to interact with others

The second is “Take Command of Your Relationships.” “The most successful people,” says Hart, “are really good at interacting with other people. Taking command of our relationships simply means I’m going to be intentional about how I interact with people.” Command, as Hart explained, is not the same as control. You do not seek power over others; only seek that discipline for yourself.

Essential to intention is ownership, especially when you make a mistake that causes harm to others. Doing so erodes trust; building it back up requires acknowledgment and ownership of the problem. That begins with a sincere apology and follows up with positive changes.

Creating your future

Third is “Take Command of Your Future.” Knowing your value and what you stand for is essential. So too, is the desire to make an impact. That impact can be global, as Hart cites the story of Daniela Fernandez, who started a global movement as a 19-year-old student at Georgetown University that resulted in the creation of the Sustainable Ocean Alliance. Or it can be more personal – being your best with your colleagues to enable the team and yourself to achieve intended goals.

Hart believes strongly in what he writes and said that he would consider the book to be a failure if people read it but did not act on it. “I would encourage people to create space so that they can have a routine. Whether the routine is around implementing the book or, or implementing you know, the improvements that they want in their lives.” Reflection on what you have done and what you want to do enables focus on what is important now.

Changing yourself is a challenging task. It takes commitment – effort, and practice. It also takes courage to look inside and see areas to improve. Understanding your own abilities and strengths may help you take that first step in energizing – or re-energizing – your commitment to personal change.

Note: Click here to watch or listen to the full LinkedIn Live interview with Joe Hart.

First posted on Smartbrief.com 8.09.2023

Oooh, I will miss him.

So sorry to see it going away.

Darn, I loved it so much.

These are the kind of remarks that fans of the Apple TV+ series, Ted Lasso, have expressed since the show’s final episode ran last month. Viewers loved the simple, uplifting spirit that Ted, an American football coach transported to London to coach an English football club, exuded. As played (and co-created ) by Jason Sudeikis, the series won loyal fans worldwide, including some at the White House, where the cast met in the Oval Office and later in the press briefing room.

And it’s easy to figure out why. First, the show is funny. Its characters are quirky. Its dark moments were sobering, but redemption lurked. What’s not to like about a lead character, the response to insults with smiles – an antidote to the vitriol so prevalent in our real lives? The series has inspired me to write about more than once.

My first post from 2020 focused on the effect of Ted’s open-hearted management style. My second post, which ran earlier this year, highlighted the sense of community that evolved from the team, its management, its coaches, and its fans. My conclusion for my third post is that the series’s secret is just that – community. We fans feel part of AFC Richmond; we all have become greyhounds (team mascot) at heart.

Shared community lessons

Community is what we all need now more than ever. Our world is upside down, and the future is unclear, but we all know deep down that we need one another. So we take comfort in the lessons of a fictional character (Lasso) who says, “If you care about someone, and you got a little love in your heart, there ain’t nothing you can’t get through together.”

Community builds upon four principles.

Shared experience. Nothing binds people together more than experiencing hardship. We certainly experienced that feeling during lockdown due to the pandemic. Isolation grew, but so did connections, often fostered by video connections. Organizations that leverage what they have experienced build bonds that contribute to resilience as well as an ability to weather the next hardship.

Shared knowledge. Good communities are open about what they know and willingly share it. High-performing teams bring new members into the team through their rituals, some humorous, some strict, all important to team cohesion. Underlying is the practice of tacit knowledge, the way we do things here because we know they work.

Shared goals. So often, we hear that individuals from all walks of life need something bigger than themselves to believe in. We want to pull together to achieve an objective, a goal, or even a vision that gives us the feeling that what we do means something. It is purposeful.

Shared success. When a group works hard achieves what it has worked hard to achieve, individuals feel good about what they have accomplished. And as with hardship, it fuels them to face the next challenge.

On we go into the future

When experiences, knowledge, and goals are shared, people do come together. Not because they have to but because they want to. The takeaway lesson from Ted Lasso is that every character has a role to play – on the pitch, in the coaches’ office, or the stands – even in the pub. Of course, everyone wants Richmond to win, but more importantly, everyone wants to belong.

We will miss Ted Lasso, but the lessons remain. Trent Crim, the team’s beat reporter, once quipped, “If the Lasso way is wrong, it’s hard to imagine being right.”

Go Greyhounds!

First posted on Forbes.com 6.06.2023

There is a line in a Willie Nelson song that brought me up straight in my chair. In his tune, The Songwriters, Nelson sings about all the fun songwriters have crafting songs about breaking out of prison, shooting bad guys and hanging out with big stars.

But here’s the line that got me.

Teach lessons but don’t bother to learn ‘em.

Whoa! 

How often do we teach others but fail to abide by those lessons? Why? Let Willie list the reasons – as they pertain to songwriters. And by extension to all of us.

We’re heroes, we’re schemers

We’re drunks and we’re dreamers

We’re lovers and sometimes we’re fighters

We’re the truth, we’re the lies.

We’re stupid, we’re wise.

We may not drink, we may not fight, but deep down we sometimes do not abide by the truth we hold true. After all, we are human – frail and failed. At the same time – and in the spirit can opposites can be true — we are strong, and wise and able to learn. If we allow ourselves to listen to the better angels of our nature.

Hope is on our side

There is, of course, hope for us. But hope cannot be a method. It can be what focuses our attention on what we need to do for others as well as ourselves. As legendary basketball coach John Wooden advised, focus on what you can do rather than what you cannot do.

Here’s Willie with the last word:

Remember the good times

They’re smaller in number and easier to recall

Don’t spend too much time on the bad times

Their staggering number will heavy as lead on your mind.

Amen, Willie.

Note: The Songwriters is included in his book Willie Nelson’s Letters to America.

First posted on my LinkedIn Live newsletter. 5.21.2023

If you are seeking to persuade someone with whom you disagree, make certain you don’t insult them. Seems obvious, but so often ignored.

It is a lesson that Lyndon Johnson – the Master Persuader himself – applied his entire adult life.

As historian Jon Meacham writes in The Soul of America: The Battle for Our Better Angels, Johnson had been invited to speak at his presidential library at the University of Texas in Austin. The night before he had been very ill, battling as he did with chronic heart disease. Lady Bird Johnson urged him not to make the trip, and so too did his doctors. Worse, bad weather had set in with snow and ice covering the roads from his home in Johnson City to Austin. Johnson, of course, would not be dissuaded and on the way even took the wheel of the car from his driver who in Johnson’s opinion was not driving quickly enough.

Johnson gave an eloquent speech, the last of his life and he even closed with the words he had closed his presidential address to Congress on Civil Rights in 1964 “We shall overcome.” What came next is the persuasion part. Some hecklers in the audience called for President Nixon to be denounced by the committee. Johnson strode to the dais once again.

“Let’s try to get our folks reasoning together,” Johnson said. “And you don’t need to start off by saying [Nixon’s] terrible because he doesn’t think he is terrible. Start talking about how you believe that he wants to do what’s right and how you believe this is right, and you’ll be surprised how many who want to do what’s right will try to help you.”

Five weeks later in January 1973, Johnson died.

Lift up

Rather than criticize the man, it’s better to speak about what you can do together. It was advice Johnson had applied to mentors such as Sam Rayburn and Richard Russell as well as adversaries and allies alike. The Johnson Treatment often had the coating of honey before the dousing of vinegar, if necessary.

Such is good advice, especially now when public discourse is resonates more with defamation than dignity. Reality says that you seldom, if ever, persuade people by belittling them. Better to find common ground.

Experts who work in negotiations find solutions by following these steps.

One, affirm the person’s integrity. This may require biting your tongue. When you disagree with an individual, it’s easy to employ animus. Bad move. Keep the discussion on an even keel. Look at the argument, not the individual. Each side can advocate for their ideas but not impugn the motives of the other.

Two, find common ground. Often people who disagree may share a single idea – make things better. Their approach, however, is oppositional. One may want to spend; the other may want to save. Look for the reasoning behind the strategy. Therein may lie the common purpose, e.g., ensure the future of the organization.

Three, look for one solution. Once you understand each other, look for win-win opportunities. For the saver, identify things that could be eliminated. For the spender, find items that require investment. Split the difference, if need be. Most important, keep talking.

Then do a little dreaming. This technique was a specialty of Johnson. As Meacham writes, when President Johnson met with Governor George Wallace of Alabama in the White House in 1965 he asked him how he wanted to be remembered. He noted that Wallace had begun his career as a “liberal” working for the common man. Johnson challenged Wallace to think about the future, not 1968 but 1988. Would he be recalled as a man of hate or a man who sought to make things better for all men?

The art of persuasion is founded on the understanding that good ideas can become better ones if you are willing to work with people with whom you initially disagree.

First posted on Forbes.com 5.17.2023