Month: October 2026

The actor got himself killed in the first episode of the third season of the hit series The Sons of Anarchy. Unlike many actors who get axed from series unexpectedly, Taylor Sheridan provoked his “demise” by asking for more money.  The producers balked, and Sheridan walked. 

As he told Howard Stern, it may have been one of the best things to happen to him. 

Having been told he was “replaceable” as an actor, he decided he needed to go in another direction – writing so he could “tell his own stories.”

And write he did—penning the hit movie Sicario and later co-creating and producing Yellowstone and its franchise spinoffs, as well as other hit series like Landman, Lioness, and The Mayor of Kingstown.

Need vs want

Sheridan’s story reminded me of a story my mother told me about my grandfather seeking work early in his career. When negotiating salary, one employer said, “How much do you need?” Coincidentally, I was asked the same question when I was starting. Hence the reason for Mom’s anecdote.

There is a big difference between “what you need” and “what you want.” I came to discover when I was low-balled with an offer that, due to circumstances (rent, food and car payment), I accepted.

Needless to say, my employment did not last more than a few months, and lucky for me, I landed a better-paying job with salary and benefits. In my mind, I “deserved” more, but I was paid a fair wage, and it was a start in the right direction.

Stand up for yourself.

The point of this story – and Taylor Sheridan’s – is that you need to stand up for yourself. Sometimes, as it did with Sheridan, it may be termination, but doing so is a recognition that you can do better. And if you apply yourself, you can do so.

Today’s job market is frightfully bad for young folks getting out of college – as it was for me, fifty years ago. So you have to believe in yourself. You have to believe that you can find good work for a good wage. Perhaps not immediately, but eventually.

Engage with others

At the same time, you cannot do it alone. You need the help of others, people to open doors for you as well as folks who will give you wise counsel. Your dream job will depend more than a degree; it may require additional training and certifications. 

Importantly, it will require “people skills” – the ability to connect with others. So easy to say, but when you are just starting, it can be challenging. It begins with a simple thought – dignity. Treat others as you wish to be treated. If you open with that mindset, you open the door to gaining insights and learning more about yourself and what you can do.

Being curious and courteous are door openers. Begin conversations with the intention of learning, not simply getting. And if you establish a connection, ask for help. 

Stories like these are a dime a dozen – as are these suggestions – but sometimes they can be learning lessons that open yourself to what you want to – and have the ability to do.

The Strait of Hormuz is closed.

U. S. munitions, including missiles and drones, are running low. As a result, U.S. bases – and facilities of our Gulf allies – are in greater danger of enemy attacks that cannot be repelled.

Sailors on the USS Lincoln are experiencing hardship conditions – lack of hygiene supplies, backed-up toilets – that are breaking their readiness.

Worse, the Administration has not been clear in its strategies and goals for this war.

All of these conditions are the result of the failure of what is called “second order thinking” – that’s when the consequences of decisions are not evaluated properly.

Reporting from multiple sources reports that senior military leaders warned the President that the attack on Iran – a decision of choice – would not be easy and could result in consequences like the closing of the Strait of Hormuz.

Clausewitz – and many military leaders since, including Douglas MacArthur and Dwight Eisenhower – posited that plans on paper are seldom a match for reality on the ground.

The lesson for those of us who lead is to think broadly and deeply. 

Make it safe to voice contrary opinions. 

Listen to people who know more than you do. 

Invite people to “red team” your plans, e.g., challenge them. 

There will be a solution to the Iranian War, but it will be costly and will serve as a lesson that when you plan without consequences, undesirable outcomes occur.

LThere is an old saying, “game knows game.” It’s a reference to rivals respecting one another for their play. Or in some cases, an older player showing respect for a younger one.

That’s the subtext between the conversation that former President Barack Obama had with Caitlyn Clarke when she was practicing with fellow WNBA All-Stars at a gym in the new Obama Center. 

In their conversation, caught ona hot mic, the older man praised her tenacity in the face of the hard fouls—along with the criticism—she has received.

“Don’t let all this nonsense get you down,” the president told her. “I always say one of the things that was luckiest for me was that I didn’t get famous ’til I was like 45. So I was an old-ass man. I mean, you’re my daughter’s age. And to have that much burden and, you know, nonsense. So don’t lose that joy. The game’s, like, the game. And you’re a hooper. And you hoop.”

“I try—sometimes,” Clark replied.

“You’re always hooping,” he said. “And you’re on a nice little run right now.”

Sally Jenkins, long-time sports journalist and best-selling author, wrote in The Atlantic, “There was a sweetness in the moment, a subtle teaching. In the nicest way, Obama shored Clark up, but also reminded her that she is a greater player and public figure when she just plays the game, accepts the inevitable bad calls and frustrations, and doesn’t let the web-brewed poisons into her blood.”

As much as Clark is praised, she knows how to stand up for herself, even pushback. “Sometimes, I think, people don’t always realize, like, I’m 23 or 24 years old and I’m trying to navigate a lot of different things while trying to play basketball at the same time,” she revealed after meeting Obama. “So, it was cool to hear that from him and I think, honestly, it’s probably a good reminder for all of us to treat people with respect, treat people with grace.”

As Sally Jenkins pointed out, Obama did not delve into the double standard that so many Black players face in the WNBA, in particular with few opportunities for endorsement contracts. As much as Clarke may be maligned, Black stars do not receive the same degree of leeway when they commit fouls.

Integrating grace into play – in this case her profession – Clark is demonstrating what it means what sport is supposed to teach us – respect for the game and those who play it. Same applies to the workplace. You can disagree without being disagreeable.

Still, as Jenkins concluded, “Clark already knows how to win. But Obama gave her a lesson in how to be winning.”

Rejection is the most human of conditions. Especially in how you make your living.

Speaking for myself, rejection is part of how I have made my living. Actually, I made nothing from rejection, but I did live it. As an independent contractor, I lost out on many engagements that I thought I was perfect for—only to discover that the client thought they could find someone better.

Creatives face the most rejection. Actors miss out on parts. Writers fail to get published. Songwriters strike out repeatedly. Cartoonists endure rejection, notably from The New Yorker, which receives thousands of submissions each year but prints only a handful. 

lesson in that is you may be talented, creative and zany, but sometimes what you think is funny doesn’t click, not because it is not good, but because it’s not the right fit.

Three Tips

When it comes to rejection, here are three rules I have followed.

One, it’s NOT you, it’s them. Actors know this dictum firsthand. They read for parts that seem written for them only to discover that “them” includes a whole lot of other people equally talented. They lose the part and the opportunity.

Two, it IS you, not them. As much as we may believe we are exactly right, we may not be. As an executive coach, I have lost engagements where I was skilled enough to handle the assignment, but the client organization thought my background was lacking. For example, the CEO, CFO or CHRO desiring coaching wanted someone who had been in that same role. Fair enough.

Three, keep on keeping on. That famous adage from the Sixties still holds true today. Hone your craft. Keep learning. Keep growing. And don’t give up.

Rejection is personal, no matter what people say. It stings, it hurts, and it leaves a mark – if you let it. The challenge is to persevere. Resilience is a muscle. Consider resilience as exercise. Keep on keeping on.

Good news

One of my favorite story of rejection is that of Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen. One hundred and thirty-two publishers said no to their book, Chicken Soup for the Soul. One said yes. Health Communications, Inc., is a small Florida-based publisher. The book and its many additions have since sold over 112 million copies in North America and been translated into 40 languages. 

Rejection is that most human of conditions, but so too is persistence and resilience.

First posted on SmartBrief.com 9.02.2026

“Gratitude is like cholera.”

Gets your attention, doesn’t it? It’s the opening line from “Be More Grateful” chapter in Chris Lowney’s newest book, Make Today Matter: 10 Habits for a Better Life (and World).

“Both are highly contagious, potent and spread person to person,” Lowney writes. “But their cholera induces death, gratitude induces happiness.” A former Jesuit seminarian turned investment banker, Lowney knows something about disease having lived abroad including some of the poorest parts of the world.

It was in his corporate career, however, that one lesson in gratitude resonates. It was an email from his boss thanking him for the good work he had done on a project. Lowney confesses he read and re-read that email multiple times throughout the year; it always gave him the get-up-and-go he needed, especially when confronting obstacles – human and otherwise.

Gratitude, as a topic, is au courant. You will find it embedded in self-help books, plastered on posters, and tweeted throughout cyberspace. And rightly so! Gratitude is the grease that makes working with others easier; it dampens the sparks that occur when co-workers rub each other the wrong way.

Gratitude comes in two parts: external and internal. Let’s take external because I think it is the easier of the two to master. Why? Because it is action oriented. We counsel those in authority to make certain to thank those who report to them.

That simple recognition can take the form of a year-end bonus (which is what Lowney also received with his thank you note) or a simple email. More importantly gratitude you show to others must be sincere. It would be tempting to say “from the heart,” but since management structures are “heartless,” the challenge is to keep affirmation real.

Settle for a direct and frank appreciation. Make it known how much you value an individual’s contributions. Be as specific as possible. Delineate what the individual has done to receive a thank you and tell him or her how much their work is appreciated. Simple words certainly, but they go a long way. All of us cherish moments of authentic recognition.

The second part of gratitude may be trickier to master because it deals with our inner selves. We humans are adept at fooling ourselves. We can go through the motions like circus acrobats, hurling through life without seeming to miss a step or a hand-off. When in reality we are missing everything. Why? We have deadened ourselves to the joy that comes from recognizing ourselves as people who belong to other people – at work, at home, in our community.

Gratitude then is the recognition that you have something to offer the world and the world has something to offer you. Lowney quotes Cicero, the great Roman orator, who wrote, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of all virtues, but the parent of all.”

The old Roman, who gave his life for the Republic, was right. If you cannot feel gratitude, you cannot feel and if you cannot sense then you cannot exert courage, demonstrate integrity, or show love. For one simple reason, you lack the capacity to care. Gratitude, by contrast, is that capacity to care.

Reframing our lives with a sense of gratitude because with an acknowledgment of self. That you have something to offer and you can deliver. From that recognition comes the thanks you need to be grateful – for who you are and what you have.

“Make gratitude your attitude” may look good plastered on a poster or sent via Twitter but it’s not enough to say it, you need to live it – outside and inside!

First posted on Forbes.com 4.04.2018

So much has been written about the passing of Dolly Parton – her talents as a songwriter and singer and her philanthropy. Her legacy lives on in her music and her philanthropy – much of it given anonymously.

 One aspect, perhaps, that may be slightly overlooked is her keen sense of working people. She came from poverty but never lost her sense of what it takes to make a living. Her song “9 to 5” captures the essence of working hard without feeling like you are getting ahead or being appreciated.

 Lyrical power

Dolly had a gift for metaphor and similes that imbued her lyrics with a resonance that revealed what it means to live, to learn and to love. The words to “9 to 5” underscore the disaffection so many feel at work, and for that reason it is worthy of examination for those who lead others.

Tumble out of bed, and I stumble to the kitchen.

Pour myself a cup of ambition.

And yawn and stretch and try to come to life.

Using coffee as a metaphor for ambition is a plain-speaking way of addressing the agency you have as you apply it to your work.

 No recognition

And, of course, the chorus casts the whole story into sharp relief.

Pushing hard, getting no recognition and being shunted aside for advancement.

Workin’ 9 to 5, what a way to make a livin’

Barely gettin’ by, it’s all takin’ and no givin’

They use your mind, and they never give you credit.

It’s enough to drive you crazy if you let it.

9 to 5, for service and devotion

You would think that I would deserve a fair promotion.

Want to move ahead, but the boss won’t seem to let me.

I swear sometimes that man is out to get me.

The sense of being used “as a step on the bossman’s ladder,” leveraging “your mind and you never get credit” because “you spend your life puttin’ money in his wallet.”

 All is not lost

But all in the song is not all for naught. The tempo is upbeat and the tune irresistible, and these lines emphasize that all is not lost.

But you’ve got dreams he’ll never take away.

In the same boat with a lot of your friends

Waitin’ for the day your ship’ll come in

And the tide’s gonna turn, and it’s all gonna roll your way.

When you listen to “9 to 5,” you can sense the frustration that so many feel at work. If you are in management, understand these concerns and do what you can to acknowledge and recognize the contributions employees make to your organization.